When will I learn

Peanut firstly well done for coming on here to share were all here to listen to you u can be perfectly honest and get it off your chest (it does help) I personally believe gambling is a disease such as any addiction and people struggle to help there actions when your in the grip of it, use this site to seek reassurance get it off your chest but most of all take things one step at a time I hate to think of the feelings your having and that u feel alone with that Your NOT we all on here have felt or been somewhere similar take hope from that this is the first step x

Thank you for your reply it's much appreciated. Just re-reading my post I sound so self obsessed and I apologise for that I know so many people suffer more then me.

I know I need to stop gambling but in order to do that I need to stop drinking. My addictions don't just stop at gambling but so much more. I'm scared that I may be addicted to alcohol as well as gambling and I think admitting it is so hard. At this point at time I feel totally lost and scared. Im rambling cause I dong know what to do sorry

It's ok to ramble I feel self obsessed when I'm writing on here most of the time lol but to me it sounds like your in panic mode do you really think both are linked?? What's happened today?? Big loss?? Bills? I find something usually triggers panic mode I don't get out of bed when it does usually wage day on a friday and ive lost it all the same night, the reason I ask is maybe if you try talking about that first it may help calm you a little to put some perspective thought on things and lead to a next step?? Am hear and im listening x

Hey peanut, welcome and well done on posting and finding your way here. Say what you think and feel, don't think of iit as rambling its a dign of strength and will also give you relief and some comfort as we all feel these emotions but here people understand and don't judge. Keep coming back and it will slowly feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders being able gto open up and be really honest about your feelings and not try and opress them. We are all here to help and support you.

Bex x

Very big loss. Spent all the money we have. It's a vicious cycle ive got myself in. I drink I gamble. Then feel bad so have a drink then will gamble again. At at this moment in time I can't see a way out, but if I'm honest I will loose my partner. I feel so ashamed of what ive done. I'm not working either at the moment so I am a bigger looser then ever x

Thank you Bex for your kind words. It's strange because this is the only place people understand yet I stopped coming on her cause I was ashamed of myself even though you all know what I'm going through as you have been through similar things.

Back in November I came clean to my partner about what I'd done 3000 in the red on bank loan and overdraft I can't tell you it was pleasent it wasn't and I won't tell you that's the right thing for you to do I will say however it helped me to have more determination not at first as dealing with it all took its toll but now I'm glad I did is there anyone close u can confide in at the moment To talk to I mean u have us all here no end but to just sit with I went to my doctor first, try to put some baby steps in place you can't bring back what's gone if only we all could but you need to think today is one day tomorrow you concentrate on getting through that and so forth I love the saying we may be lay in the gutter right now but u can still see the stars which means there's hope x

That's a real nice saying :). No one to talk to. My partner wouldn't understand ive had way to many chances same with my mom. At the moment I don't feel good inside or out. I need to find a way to do that otherwise I will go the same way my dad did, end up dead. I don't want to end up like that I have a little boy but I'm in self destruct mode and can't see anyway out at the moment. So tired of feeling like this, I'm even sick of me and this self pity.

Peanut I know its early days and still coming to terms with it but have you put any blocks in your way to help prevent you from doing this? Sometimes its best to strike while the irons hot! Taking small but positive steps to avoid it even when you get the temptation should help. What is it you gamble on if you dont mind sharing. For me its online slots, or the devil as I would rather now name it.

X

Online slots and I know the only way to truly stop would be either to get rid of my phone or stop drinking for good. I think I would rather tge later. My comp has a block but now my son has a computer and I can't afford to put one on there. X

Then use us peanut talk as long as it need, being on this site your not gambling right as your typing I downloaded secureteen today as k9 wasn't working on my phone try either a little simple block and u get to keep your phone, time to fill any odd jobs need doing ?? Try one of them and makes your partner a little happier too , maybe start a project for your son or have a game on the comp with him quality time may make you both feel a little better :0) just baby steps n goals is how I'm handling this and may work for you too x

One last thing the not feeling good part look at your son, small positive things you may have its going to take time I still cry when I think about what I've done that each penny I could have spent on something better nobody beats us up more than ourselves but with each day you try I promise it gets a little easier x

Thank you. It's so disgusting that I could spend 1000s on this addiction. I'm so ashamed and I don't want to do it any more. Today is the first day of my recovery. Thank you for taking time out to talk to me. I look forward to reading your diary and others to share in experience and grow from them once I feel a bit better 🙂

That's it first step :0) day 1 and we'll All be here rooting you along x