Hi everyone. I have been here before but under a different username. Anyway... Been gambling for a while again and that's it now. No more. Took a heavy loss on Saturday night! Was unable to sleep that night didn't want to tell my wife I had just lost a grand was absolutely terrified. Worst panic I have ever had through gambling. Trembling non stop for 24 hours. I finally plucked up the courage to tell her and I'm so pleased I did. She has been so supportive and I know with her by my side I will do this. I have a daughter. My family is worth more than that gambling rubbish.my financial situation is ok at the moment but if I get stuck into gambling again it will destroy everything. I will do it this time.
Day 2-Gamble Free
"I will not win because I will not stop"
Hi Swordfish and welcome back , I'm not going to offer advice or preach but you know where you went wrong and can at least be ready for it if your ever faced with the same situation again, your right regarding the financial situation as well , it doesn't take very long to do some real damage if we go on a binge session .
It's great that you nipped it in the bud so to speak and came straight back on the forum , it really is a great place to get your head straight and bring us back to reality !
United we stand buddy !
Wishing you well ........................Alan
Hi Alan thanks for the words.
Looking forward to a bet free day tomorrow !
Hi SW
What helps me is that I remember when I had a heavy loss and that horrible feeling at the pit of my stomach that just won't go away, do I want to feel like that again - NEVER!
Paul
Hi swordfish good luck on this next step it sounds like you have a good support network behind you be happy and stay positive
Day off work today just done the school run now back home with a cup of tea with the missus. Still feeling awful about my loss on Saturday night. Wrenches my gut every time I think about it. No intention of gambling though. That part of my life is now over for good!
Day3- Gamble free
"I will not win because I will not stop"
Keep it up Sfish! 1 day at a time!
The Harder the Struggle, The more Glorious the Triumph!
Busy day off today been in the garden putting up a trampoline for my daughter for when she gets home from school! I'm aching like hell! Councillor got back to me today and have my first appointment on Saturday. Not missing the cup final though !!!
At work today still no Bet and not tempted at the moment. Worried about euro 2016! I love my football and that will be hard! Still feel rotten about the other nights loss can't get it it of my head and very angry with myself. I'm not going to do that to myself again.
Day 4 bet free
I will not win because I will not stop
Swordfish,
As a wife of a CG, I've been on the receiving end of a whole load of lies, deceit and manipulation. I've been let down very badly by someone who I should have been able to rely on. Ditto our children.
The activities involved differ but the behaviour involved in actively gambling is very much akin to the behaviour involved in having an affair. The damage is the same. The betrayal is the same. The breach of trust is the same. And there is no less cheating involved in gambling than in being unfaithful. You've come second to a machine or a computer or a betting shop, rather than a human being.
CW
CW
I feel very bad for my wife but at the end of the day I have still given my daughter and wife everything I can. I always give them my love no matter what. No matter how much I have gambled I have always loved my family. If you are cheating then you obviously don't. That is my opinion sorry if you don't agree.
Hi,
We're told at GamAnon that the behaviour is because of the addiction and doesn't indicate a lack of love. Ok, but said behaviour is less than loving. Someone who is supposed to love me lies to me, manipulates me into thinking that I'm the cause of the problem? Clearly prefers to be left alone on the computer rather than be with me? Doesn't want to talk to me or engage with me? And again, ditto the children. Nothing there to demonstrate the love which may or may not exist. Neither the children not I are the priority. And no, it's not because I'm difficult/fussy/demanding /nagging etc.
I do think the lies involved in gambling are equivalent to the lies involved in being unfaithful. Lies are lies, deceit is deceit. Different context, that's all.
I question that anyone can actively gamble whist simultaneously devoting their all (time, energy, etc) to their nearest and dearest. The two just don't go together - the family get in the way of the next bet.
I would suggest a read of the f&f section, uncomfortable perhaps, but better to try to understand the effects of the addiction on those around you. Part of the communication process.
Stay safe,
CW
Hi swordfish your doing so well pal keep it up don't worry about the football you have to grow to love the rivalry and game rather than the bets we all know mr bale will put the sword to mr Rooney. I can see cynical wife's point about trust. But I can't compare it personally to an affair sorry and it's not having a pop cw yes lies yes pain and guilt are part of an affair yes I flirted with that fobt on an emotional level but It was never sexual which is the base motive of an affair. you could say the same about a shopaholic is a cheater for keeping secrets about spend and that handbag they got for 600 quid or a drug addict for their love of the hit rather than a cuddle and kiss from their other half But it's opinion but very black and white to me. I can understand the anger!
ADT785
Sent you a request through admin for contact if you want don't worry if not just think our situation is similar
hi i thik ive read ur previous diary, good luck and well done for for a good start. adam
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