Hi All
I don't know if this will be useful - but I've been meaning to post this for a while - for myself but also in case it's useful to anyone else.
2 years or so back I was in the worst place of my life, by a long way. I had everything I wanted and needed and one thing I didn't - an awful, crippling addiction to sports betting. Any sport, any time. It had been there for 4-5 years, but it went out of control in 2012-13. Impacted on my life in so many ways - but at that time I went from having a 5 figure sum in the bank to the same in debt in 12mths all from gambling. Anyway at that time I found this site really useful. I didn't post so much but I used to spend a lot of time reading, getting tips, and also seeing I was not the only idiot in the world.
The one thing I didn't see much of then was success stories. I guess most people only posted on here around the time of their rock bottom. Hence my reason for posting - two years hence I am in so much of a better place. I can't believe how much has changed - new job with big pay increase, and then subsequently promoted, married and now, in last two months, a new house and a brand new car. I hope that this doesn't come across as showing off - if it reads as that then I'm really sorry. What I wanted to show is that even from a really bad position - 500 days gambling free is enough to *really* turn your life around & set yourself up for the rest of your life.
Do whatever you need to do - whatever - to get over this and back on track. I know that sounds easier said than done, but to show you how messed up I was- at my first or second appointment with a Counsellor she told me she wasn't even sure we could get me over my gambling, it had such a deep hold on me. If anyone is interested, or wants me to share more on "how" then I am happy to. But writing this has been something I wanted to do regardless.
One last thing - for those of you stuck in or near your rock bottom, remember that you're not the only one in this position. I remember how hard it was to conceive of a life w/o gambling. But it is doable. I couldn't honestly say that I don't miss gambling, I do - just like I'm sure alcoholics miss alcohol. But what I miss is the last, fun bet at the end of a day of winning, or the buzz of a surprise last minute goal (alcohol equivalent I guess the pint in the sun in summer). I do not miss the fear, the fatigue, the feeling of quasi-paralysis that came over me for hours on end, the moods, the embarrassment, the ridiculous superstitions - nor the last chasing bet at the end of a day of losing, or the last minute missed penalty. I am proof that life is better w/o gambling and a life w/o gambling is achievable, even if you are really messed up right now.
Thanks for sharing that with us. It is nice to hear that "happy ending" . I think most of us gamblers have those "ridiculous superstitions", and although my vice was/is online slots, I can totally understand all of what you have said. Well done on being strong enough to get out of it. T x
What a lovely inspirational story. Don't think for a minute you are showing off ..you beat a terrible demon and it's such a positive thing to share as it proves that it is doable with determination and hard work to beat this and how wonderful life can be again. I feel so happy for you at how far you have come as I know it wouldn't have been easy....well well done. Your story has given me more determination to keep going.
Now you are really winning all without a single bet. Have a wonderful Xmas thanks for sharing.
What a brilliant post, happy that you beat the addiction. Ive just started my journey to stop gambling, and I can't wait to look back on it like you have, it just goes to show it can be done, your life can turn around for the better. Thank you, your post has giving me more motivation to stop this horrible, life ruining habit
Thank you for posting your inspirational story tt1!
You are right it is important for those who are new to the forum to be able to read success stories. So we created a section for them. I've edited this thread so that it shows in the Success Stories section as well as Overcoming Problem Gambling. Thanks again for posting!
Take care
Forum Admin
New to all of this. My 22 year old son is the GA. Your post have given me hope that he can recover. Thank you for the time and energy you have taken to write this as it is hard to find a positive outcome. Enjoy your first christmas as a married man. Now you really are a winner!
What a great story for everyone to read. It is nice to nice know that people can turn their lives around. My son is a cg I have just found out and am devastated. We are trying to help him but he isnt totally admitting he has a problem. I would love to hear more about your story.
Hi cw22 how are you and your son doing this week I hope things are settled for you both. Things have been more settled here for us but I am worried about Christmas week, he will need funds to go out and enjoy himself and I want that I want him to have a good time. We will have to come to an agreement on how much spends he has when he goes out. Hope you all have a settled and happy Christmas. Take care - wcid
Thank you
I saw someone commented on here last week and it reminded me to come back on today, as yesterday was a big milestone for me. 2 years since my last bet. Back in 2014 and for large parts of the previous years (especially 2013-14) I used to see people walking around, or sitting having a coffee or on the train reading a book and be so jealous as all of my thoughts and focus were on either a bet I had on, a bet I’d lost, or the money I had lost. All I wanted was to get back to “normal”.
Anyway, the purpose of me posting here, and adding to a post I wrote at the top in December is not at all to boast, merely to reiterate the point I made above, that in 2 years you really can turn your life around. I’ve gone from being crippled by the addiction – mentally and financially – ruining relationships, lieing, worrying etc to happy, successful, and in a good place financially, and relationship wise.
Maybe if you’re reading this, you might think that you can’t do 2 days far less 2 weeks/months/years and that you’re in too deep. As I said at the top, I was so deep in it, basically there was barely a waking minute where I wasn’t betting on some kind of random sporting event. My mind was screwed up by it. I remember vividly towards the worst point being annoyed when a bet came in too easily (eg over x goals and it came in inside 20 minutes) because I wanted the buzz of it being an even bigger stake, won by a last minute goal. I thought I could see patterns, and that what pocket my phone was in impacted the outcome of a basketball match, in a country I couldn’t point out on a map etc.
I totally understand the issue of feeling you’d lost money and need to make it back, and how hard it is to get over that, one big win would clear the debt etc. For me by instead throwing myself in to work, getting a promotion, I can shut those thoughts down if they come back (as they occasionally do) by thinking that the promotion is clearing some of that amount. As time passes and life presents different forks in the roads, opportunities I think that the money lost becomes less powerful in your mind.
My view is do whatever you need to do to get through the first few weeks. Tell someone, don’t tell someone – whatever works. Personally I think you need to tell someone, as they can then keep you on track (monitor you & your money) in the first few weeks, but whatever works. For the first few weeks, I used to go for a quick walk whenever I became tempted to bet (colleagues at work probably thought I’d started smoking) and I rewarded myself with a chocolate bar every evening. That sort of became a focus to get to that and enjoy it. Obviously eating chocolate every day isn’t good, but it’s less damaging than gambling. I’ve actually taken on giving up sugar now as well – addicted to quitting stuff – so now my reward is a CafГ© Nero coffee and lunch out of the office every Friday.
Lastly, I see above that a couple of parents read this. I promise you 100% that it’s not your fault – looking back now, I have my theories on what caused me to get into the situation, none of them relate at all to anyone else.
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