Hi
For me the addictions and obsessions were very unhealthy habits.
I like many people did not stop gambling from day one walking in to the recovery program.
I like many people I had lost all faith and hope in my self.
In time for me I got to understood that the word RECOVERY was about healing.
I have been in the recovery program now for over 50 years.
I am a non religious person who embraces healthy spirtual values.
In time I was willing and able to write down the unhealed pains of my past.
After going to meetings I found that deep down therapies by every one were a big help to me.
After going to meetings I found that my fears were reduced and my trust grew.
I then with reduced fears I was readyu to find a healthy counsellor who would hel me heal my hurt inner child.
Today I am no longer the loner.
Today I am no longer want to end my life or give up on my self any more.
Today there is not enough hours in the day for me.
I have been in the recovery program and very willing to write down my needs my wants and my needs on a regular basis.
The very last thing I want or need to day is gamble.
For me gambling is a form of self abuse.
In my recovery times I learned to love my self.
In my recovery times I learned to respect my self.
In my recovery times I learned today to regulary do a good job.
I no longer say I have to.
Today I use the words I want or need to do things to make me feel succesful in my self.
It took a long time to hand over our finances.
It took a long time to trst my self with money on my person.
For me the recovery is not about who is right or wrong it is how ever what is healthy and what is unhealthy.
It took me along time to identify how unhealthy procrastination was in my life.
My hatred my resentments guitl shame and regret indicated that I was not healing my pains.
My anger and rage indiciated that I was reacting in unhealthy ways to to my pains, my fears and my frustrations.
In time my therapies and sharing helped me reach a point where emotional intimacy became an every day thing for me.
I found out also that emotional intimacy was also part of the healing process.
I found out also that my oldfears of emotional intimacy were my hurt inner child not wanting to be hurt again.
The gambling establishments never hurt me, I hurt my self.
The gambling establishments never made me do any thing that I did not want to do.
Just for today I do not want or need to amble today.
Just for today I want to exchange all of my unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.
How much more do I want to live a healthy life today.
How much more am I willing to invest in to emotional intimacy with my self and with other people today.
Love peace healing and serenity to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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