365 days ago today i was shocked to look in the mirror both metaphorically and in reality.
I was then welcomed into this fantastic community that helped me to see the real me and the gambling tainted me.
On Monday the 10th of January 2022 i saw 2 pictures of myself in my head. The first picture was a rambling mess of a man with no savings, no future and a poor outlook of lies deceit and running off to gambling establishments for the remainder of my life. A me who`s partner would eventually give up and id end my life a lonely jabbering apologist for the pain i`d put my nearest and dearest through. This was the person i darent depart from, i found comfort in the repetitive nature and the ability to hide from the world that gambling had provided.
That night i had very clear thought and the enhanced ability to analyse my thoughts both good and bad, i am not religious but would describe this as an epiphany. It was a nervous and confusing few hours, i felt my life ahead rather than saw it. Behind me was the past and all the mistakes and heartache that i had endured for 35 years. Ahead of me was an uncertain path that was going to whatever would happen be better than my past.
Questions for the next few weeks took hold of my brain, questions like Why? How did it happen? why did`nt i try to stop seriously sooner? i had tried to stop before but was really feeling it this time, i was in the zone.
Eventually new questions came to the forefront on my mind, can i tell my partner? can i be honest with work colleagues and friends? Can i really kick this?
I started to put on a very positive exterior, and often this was a front, but eventually i did start to feel true positiveness and learned to relax more.
I learned as my Councillor had suggested i do to say No, and thats not just to gambling. at work i began to set out my own boundaries and surprised often to see people respect my boundaries.
One of the questions i used to ask myself was why me, why did i have the bad luck?, that has now been turned round to why me, why did i get to see my faults so as to be able to tackle them?
I`m nothing special, and i know i will always have a problem, but for one year (the figure really doesn't matter) i kept it at bay when i never believed despite the positivity that i could.
I beat gambling for a full 12 months, little old me who was a slave to the bandits, the tables and the online nonsense.
Other than the birth of my daughter that is possibly the greatest achievement of my life.
Learn to study yourself, learn to look at yourself in a cold calculated way.
If i can keep it at bay YOU definitely can.
Wishing everyone reading a peaceful, restful and Gambling Free New Year
Don`t ever give up.
gambling 0 , lids19635 365
Gambling you are no longer welcome here.
Wow @lids19635 what an inspirational read and inspiration you are!
A huge well done for one whole year gamble free, your positivity and strength in times of challenge have really paid off and you should be so proud of what you have achieved. You have also been a huge support for me since just starting this battle and journey, I’m so grateful.
Here’s to a positive and healthy, happy & gamble free 2023. Keep at it, you’re doing so well!?
Congratulations @lids19635 that is a fantastic achievement to have reached 365 days gamble free! We appreciate you sharing your story and your success with us all. Keep it up!
Kind regards
Roxanne
Forum Admin
Hi lids,
What else can I say ?, a fantastic achievement & you're inspirational to everyone on the forum. I really do respect & admire you so much. You should be extremely proud.
Best Wishes
AL
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