I have only been gamble free for 3 months but it feels so good to have stopped. I feel like I am starting to get my life back and find myself again. I have gambled non-stop for over 10 years. It just became an ingrained habit, I have been on auto-pilot for all of those years. I felt like a zombie. Now, looking back whilst still uncomfortable to think about I am now able to look forward. For so many years I haven't thought about the future. There have been so many times that I have just wanted it to end and I would have been 'happy' to go to sleep and never wake up. This is the true reality for so many people. I just wanted it to all go away, I was overwhelmed.
I reached out to Gamcare when I was at my lowest and I couldn't take it anymore. I had some telephone therapy sessions and it made such a difference to be able to speak to someone about my problems. I have hidden my addition from everyone. I was 'functioning' I had a good job and was able to live a seemingly 'normal' life. But behind it all I was suffering.
3 months have past and I have a new lust for life. I am not saying everyday is rosy but I am in a much better place than I was. I am able to be more conscious and think more clearly. I cannot change past but I have control of my future.
I am writing this post to give people hope, things can get better. Reach out for help and things may just start to fall into place. I have a few little tips that have helped me to stay focussed and gambling free. I am definitely more grateful for what I have. When I was gambling it was all consuming, and I had tunnel vision. Gambling makes you forget about what is important. Each day I try to think about what I am grateful for. Secondly, I started to exercise. I always thought this was cliché advise, but it has been so important to me for my recovery. One final bit of advise would be to write down your thoughts or create a diary and just add to it throughout the day when things happen. I write down my feelings and thoughts (good and bad) It really helps me to acknowledge what I was feeling and how my feelings change throughout the day. I think we live in a world where we are expected to be happy/positive for every second that we are awake. By writing it all down I have realised it is impossible and unhealthy. My mood can change several times a day and that is o.k. I have learnt to manage my thoughts and if I have any negative thoughts I feel more confident to challenge myself.
Over the past 3 months my confidence has grown so much. I have always suffered from low self esteem and feels of inadequacy. This undoubtedly contributed to my problem gambling. I can now look back and see how far I have come. It makes me proud to have experienced such trauma for so long and finally be on a journey of recovery. I feel stronger, and more empowered every day.
Keep going everyone.... We can beat this.
Wow, huge congratulations on 3 months gamble free. That’s incredible & thank you for sharing, it’s an inspiration! Take care x
Hi
When I was in action I use to feel like a zombie inside.
The simple truth is if I can do a healthy recovery any one can.
This last week I was in a room where a number of peoples clean time of totalled over 100 years.
And I was delighted to see nubbies coming to the meeting.
Every day clean is a day with less pain and less fear in it.
I live my days now being more productive less afraid and emotionally stable sincere contenet and feeling I no longer need to react in unhealthy ways today.
Dave L
Thanks for this post very inspirational it's fave me hope after years of despair. I'm going to give it everything to be clean for good
huge congratulations
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