Do compulsive Gambliers have any form of responsibility into their recovery

Hi Tazman,

Haven't posted on here for ages, but your soul searching post inspired me. Personally I do take responsibility for my gambling addiction that began in 1970. Bookmakers back then were shady huts, usually attached to the side of a working mans club or down some blind alley. I would drink ( under age ) in the same club as my father visited twice a week. Yes they had a bookies next door.

The first time I entered I was shocked, stench of stale smoke, expert advice from habitual loosers on what to back or not no back. Men would even spit on the floor. How depressing yet you know what ?. I felt right at home & loved every minute I spent in those sh-t holes. The only good thing I can find to say about them in hindsight is when your pockets were empty you went home & faced the consequences. They were closed on Sundays back then & 24 hour markets were unheard of.

Years later we had mobile phones then internet betting, fantastic the blindness it created. You couldn't see your wallet emptying in an old cash only bookmakers shop, as the marketting tecniques got better & better telling us how easy it would be to get rich quick without having to graft for it. The bookies were getting richer as CGs became poorer.

I'm 68 years old, my gambling started at 15 ( the school leaving age in those days ). When I started gambling no-one dragged me in the bookies kicking & screaming. It was my decision & mine only & so I take full responsibility. My last bet was 9th August 2018. Do I still want to gamble ?. Yes often, but I've long since handed over finacial resposibility to my wife. When I say I haven't gambled I mean I haven't gambled. Never kidded myself it's a slight blip or play money I've purchased & refused to re-set my GF clock. In my book if a person tries to defeat an individual or an orginisation & money is involved it's gambling.   

My 5 year Gamstop exclusion is almost up but I will renew it anyway.   If I gambled again it would destroy me knowing the hurt it caused my loved ones. For me personally looking in the mirror & realizing that in the last 5 years I've learned nothing would be the final nail in the coffin of recovery. Whatever & wherever my addiction has taken me I do accept responsiblity & feel the shame so therefore have 2 alternavises, beat myself up about the past or strive everyday to be better.

Best Wishes In Recovery

AL

@tazman

For many years I blamed many institutions: Banks, Payday Loan Companies, Credit Card Co, Casinos. Etc.. After losing money with each of those institutions due to my addiction I held them responsible for my problems and would always go down the route of complaining to them for allowing me to gamble and waste money. On a few rear occasions I was able to claim some money back from them, however I'd quickly plough it back into gambling. It got to a point where I couldn't get anymore credit and my repayments were much higher than my income. I remember being on the phone to my credit card company trying to extend my credit limit to from 18k to 20k, when they declined my request it was at that point I realised these institutions weren't to blame, it was totally down to me to take responsibility.

@oranje01 in my situation looking back at my early days i was bailed out on a couple of occassions and was even handed money to pay for my bills which i gambled and lost , my family had no idea about this addiction it my idea to hand my finances to my family i still take responsibility has i should have tried to do it sooner however my early few years when it became a full blown addiction i just couldnt resist even when i had no money i would still be wirh couple of other ppl in bookies which made it worse as we would give each other money and their has been times where ive had no money at the end of night i have had a months salary which with few days went back and cycle would repeat itself this worked against me as i got more and more addicted however within the last decade my situation has improved as i have had on and off relapses where i have gambled for short period of time and then stopped completely its only occured to from my last relapse i should have never have attempted the relapses went just like it was planned as i may not have learnt my intention was to make x amount and just quit forever, which did happen however i just couldnt quit and i became in debt in over 10 years, this last relapses reminded me of a time in my early days

No one to blame but me. It was hard to blame myself at first because I never realised I had an addiction, pretended it didn't exist and hoped it would just go away. 

Truth is I regret everyday since the very start. I wish I wasn't this way...I wish it would go away. So far the demons have settled and the urge to play has fizzled away. But I know I can't let my guard down and be the person I became. 

I wish I'd never found gambling - I couldn't blame anyone else, everyone around me told me to stop but I was just to engrossed in it that I just carried on.