Do you have a healthy relationship with money? lets discuss

I love all these inputs from everyone on this topic! 🙂 

I used to always seek things that bought very quick and limited happiness/fulfilment but my life was a constant chase of the next thing to replace the last one. I'm fortunate that during my recovery I've got to travel the world with my wonderful wife and soak up the beauty of the natural world and have fulfilment from all the incredible memories that we have made from our experiences.

Ineffable sounds like a rollercoaster....long may you continue to have a good relationship with money and have the retirement you deserve.

I like this thread too Wallis!! i think we have all seeked those pleasures at some point in life and some find them easy to live with and others don't.

No I've never had a healthy relationship with money, possessions, people and indeed life.

I feel that made me highly vulnerable to becoming a gambling addict.

I bought loads of stuff to make me feel happy but barely used most of it. I had more of an OCD complex about marking it rather than using the stuff. It seemed a comforter just to display it and try and present some false status to please myself. Cameras I never used and cars I got bored of way before time etc etc

Money....never had enough of it and never really had any ambition to work myself up the greasy pole or start something myself.......always saw risk and felt anxiety

I've been lonely depressive and anxious all my life. I Realise now that I hated all my earlier jobs but just plodded on at the time getting more depressed and stressed

I see how gambling started, crept into and took over my life. The truth is that it started through boredom and loneliness. It carried on as it was the only hit I was really seeking in an empty life.

In later life it took over completely as I didn't seem to have a purpose for any of my money.......oh can't afford a holiday then I would put more money in a slot machine.......so I could have had a good holiday but I was so jaded about everything. 

For me there were definitely mental illnesses running in tandem with the gambling illness. They would feed off each other keeping me in a loop. Escape and self harm from a life I was not facing in a healthy way

So I hope my honesty makes others question themselves. A gambling addiction is deep and complex. It's most often related to other serious issues

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

@loux same want  treat myself or tell the kids I can’t afford it but Throw it all away on gambling I have no value for money when it comes to slots  it’s like it’s not real money because u can’t see it till u got to cash point and Realise you’ve got no money you spent it all gambling new day for me thou ?

I'm not sure what do you mean by a healthy relationship with money. I usually spend a lot of money on things that don't bring me anything in return. Although I always put money aside for hard days, pay my bills, and try not to borrow.

Posted by: @Anonymous

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Hi

Money represents how hard I worked for a certain amount of time and get paid for that time.

I use to think that if I had a lot of money I would feel succesful in my self.

Today money gives me more choices and gives me more material things.

Yet money helps me feel secure in my home.

Yet money did not heal my pains.

Yet money did not reduce the fears of my childhood.

Money can be used to do healthy things.

Before my recovery I did not value money or value my self.

Once I could trust my self with money and use it wisely and in healthy ways I was abale to do other things with my life.

Money was just the fuel for my addiction.

Once I valued money and used it wisely it made me make healthier choices.

It is a very sad fact at one time I was my own worst enemy.

By going to meeting I make much healthier choices in my life. Money is earned by hard work. For some, this is easy, as they receive bribes. Recently studied the topic "corruption", found https://studydriver.com/corruption/ for this. So I think that this is not fair, everyone should have a well-deserved income. We need to fight this and not sit still. But lately I see that the world is heading towards the abyss.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckeham 

It's great to hear that you've made significant progress in managing your finances and reducing your expenses over the years. Going from spending £8,000 after bills to £500 is an impressive achievement, and it shows that you've developed some useful skills in budgeting and financial discipline.

However, it's also important to recognize that having a healthy relationship with money involves more than just cutting expenses. While it's good to save money and avoid overspending, it's equally important to allow yourself to enjoy your life and indulge in things that bring you happiness and fulfillment.

In your case, it seems like you've become quite strict with yourself when it comes to spending money, almost to the point where you're tracking every pound you spend as a "plus" or "minus." While this approach may have helped you get your finances under control, it could also lead to a scarcity mindset around money, where you feel like you can never truly relax or enjoy yourself because you're always worried about overspending.

To cultivate a healthier relationship with money, you might want to consider shifting your focus away from strict budgeting and towards developing a sense of abundance and freedom. I have a suggestions if you want, Set aside a small portion of your income each month for discretionary spending, practice self-compassion when you do overspend, focus on building multiple streams of income, cultivate gratitude for what you already have, and embrace experiences over material possessions. By implementing these strategies, we can develop a healthier relationship with money that allows us to enjoy our life while still maintaining fiscal responsibility.

Remember, it's important to strike a balance between saving for the future and living in the present – and by doing so, we can foster a deeper sense of financial well-being and contentment. 😉 

wow what a great topic for discussion. My wife has a healthy relationship with money but I don't. She is a saver , I am a spender/gambler. I'm trying so hard to change but it is so difficult. I do have financial controls in place so I cannot lose too much, but it is sad that I am so unhealthy with money I cannot even manager to go thru the day with a debit or credit card in my wallet. I want so much to change. 

Thanks for sharing your journey with money and recovery. It's inspiring to see how you've transformed your relationship with money from fueling addictions to valuing it as a representation of hard work and self-worth.