.

Hi Ben,

First off - taking financial advice from me is akin to asking a Turkey about his favourite brand of cranberry sauce! That being said, any reputable mortgage company will ask for AT LEAST 3 months bank statements to consider you. However, it's mostly about your credit rating. So, first of all, sign up for free to Noodle or Clearscore, and check your credit rating, check if you have any closed accounts, defaults, ccj's outstanding, etc. If that's all good then I wouldn't worry too much.

Something else to consider is opening a 'parachute account' - a new bank account to get your wages paid into, then make sure you always run it in credit. When the mortgage company asks for accounts send them that.

What's more important tho, and the fact you've posted this query here and not on debtcamel is that you must feel your gambling might have become problematic to how you want to live your life? If so, then have a read around the forum.

All the best, Max

great adivce there, i had the same problem, i stopped gambling for three months, clean statement and got a mortgage no problem, i think that you've never missed any payments, not in debt, will go a long way. good luck, adam

to be honest they must look back further than three months, so in my case there were lots of gambling transactions to be seen and i still got a mortgage. I think its down to you're salary and other debt.

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It's tough going it on willpower alone. I agree - wait until the mortgage is approved, then maybe share the burden with her? That massive sigh of relief of not hiding something so central to your being from someone so central to your being is wonderful, and can help in the future if you ever feel tempted again.

Just my honest opinion.

Max

Hi Ben

Just an alternative view but I wonder if you might look at this from your partners perpective? Waiting until you have entered into a huge financial arrangement like a mortgage with her and then telling her, "oh yes, I have had a bit of a gambling habit I would like you to know about" seems a bit unfair. Surely she should know about this before she signs on the dotted line?

Given you have not put yourself in any financial difficulties yet and you would be volunteering this information to her (without getting caught) I would imagine she might be shocked but want to support you? If she does not want to get a mortgage with you after knowing about your gambling then surely this is the time to find that out?

Also if you are looking at buying a house then presumably there is a deposit sitting in a bank account somewhere - I don't want to sound alarming but there are a fair number of posts on her where people have gambled away their share of a house deposit. You might want to consider how you can protect this.

Good luck with your recovery

Muststop123

Hi Ben.

There is too much of a will I get away with it element to your post. Its an issue that needs to be faced. Its very hard to rely on willpower alone. You have secrets which is not good and thinking phew they have given me a mortgage is not facing the issue of problem gambling

Deep down we all know that any financial institution should worry about gambling transactions. It is an irresponsible act with money. Yes its still a legal activity but I wonder why financial orgs are not tougher on using cards and credit for gambling.

I know the answer to that really as its all one money making gig for the government and interest for the banks on debts. In the grand scheme of things the debt trap outweighs the defaulters. Essentially they have enough of a deposit on a mortgage to compensate for falling house prices or defaults. The customer is heavily into the house minimising risk for the banks when they do loan.

The housing market is also a giant bubble of supply being kept short so any house has too high a value. Its unlikely that it will fall below your deposit level and that is what they bank on. They are not running a charity.

Your partner deserves to know what you have been up to. You might not like that but its the addiction talking leaving the door open for you to gamble again. Partners knowing is one of the strongest reality checks and blocks if you embrace that

You dont need gambling in your life. Focus on what its done to you.

Life is much better gamble free

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

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Yes, it's selfish keeping £30K's worth of gambling from your partner. She deserves to be able to make informed choices when it comes to linking herself financially with you and not telling her takes away her chance to do that. You might not be in debt now, you might not have missed payments now but the saying 'I haven't done that...yet' is popular in GA for a reason.

Gamblers can and do drag down those around them. Making yourself accountable to someone else makes it very much harder for you to gamble in secret.

"But I just feel if I can get 3 months out of the way then gambling is history and I forget about it and live the rest of my life.'' If only giving up gambling was so easy . There would be no need for gamcare or GA. My husband did what you're doing. Lied, deceived me. It's controlling. I hope that mortgage companies have learnt from the irresponsible lending of previous years. Maybe you don't have a gambling problem and will never gamble again. If you believe that then it surely is no problem to tell your partner.

Ben 2911 wrote:

Hi all,

Please don’t take this post as me not addressing my gambling addiction and failures. I have written a complete other thread addressing my gambling issue and how I have ultimately put blocks in place to ensure I now live a gamble free life before I head down a road I do not want to see.

I know a lot of you won’t morally agree with me keeping this from my partner and udnerstandbly so. I really do understand your point of view and maybe I am selfish? But I just feel if I can get 3 months out of the way then gambling is history and I forget about it and live the rest of my life. Maybe I am naive or stupid, I’m not so sure anymore.

Kind regards

Ben

Hi Ben

Please accept this as me trying to help you and not an attack on you but having read your other threads I am even more worried. I feel like I am watching a car crash about to happen in slow motion.

You have been on this forum a couple of years and had problems with gambling for many years before that and as recently as a month ago you admit to blowing £36k in an hour. This is not rational behaviour of someone I would want to get into a mortgage with and I am the one with a gambling problem!

I too believed I never wanted to gamble again, told my wife everything, got counselling and put what I thought were adequate blocks in place. I went about 300 days before I relapsed in a moment of stupidity and weakness. You have been here before, you know it is not as easy as just saying you are giving up, its incredibly difficult and chances are you will be severely tempted to gamble again.

My best advise to you would be talk to your partner, explain you are not in any financial difficulties yet but given your past issues you want to put some additional safety blocks in place to ensure you can't gamble in the future and having her involved will make that a lot easier. This also lets her go into this with open eyes. Maybe a good outcome would be that you decide together that leaving it for a while before getting a mortgage while you get some help (counselling/GA etc) and she can see some evidence of your determination to manage your addiction.

Ultimately it is obviously your decision. Good luck with whatever you decide to do and keep posting. Everyone on here wants you to success.

No judgment but actually you’re not tackling the gambling addiction at all. Your call but there are measures (GA plus barriers) that you could take if you so choose.

Mortgages are serious and should be taken seriously. Unpaid instalments ultimately lead to repossession. Lenders always get their money back.

Do you actually want to commit to your partner? Do you really want to buy a house and start a family together? Or is that her dream, not yours?

Are you really the sort of person who would take on this sort of commitment without disclosing your gambling? Because that’s not a wholehearted commitment.

CW

Ben,

You lack honesty with your partner and lack maturity. You risk digging a bigger hole for yourself and your partner, when it goes wrong you will blame her and say that she ‘pushed you’ into buying house.

Sorry to be brutal - but in the main us gamblers are selfish cowards leaving a trail of misery for others in our wake.

Simply focus on stopping gambling first and forget about mortgages and house buying for a while.

Hi Ben well done for stopping gambling to date and good look with your house hunting. If you think three months without gambling is “gambling behind you” I can be the most recent proof that it is never behind me!! Today I am at day 0 but I’m so much better off than I was in Oct when last dabbled! But gambling is not behind me and my books are to be read again this evening to sort my head! Telling your partner is irrelevant if you never gamble again, however if you are like me you are only stopping to get a mortgage! Keep safe!