Getting a mortgage with a partner in recovery

Hi lovely, 

I’m the wife of a compulsive gambler.

Sounds like your partners Dad (and maybe your partner) is rushing to get things ‘back to normal’ - buying a house is a clear sign in standard society of everything being good and well. Its so common for partners to feel their recovery is slower or at least coming in at different speeds than the addict in recovery and so it is totally understandable that your nervous system is wanting to slow things down. Getting married and buying a house in one year is ALOT at the best of times, let alone in recovery. 

If you did proceed with buying a property, remember that the fact that it may or may not be a trigger is not in your control. It’s on your partner to be mindful of potential triggers and communicate his needs with you. It’s not your responsibility to be in control of all the hazards. If you feel now is not the right time to buy, I would frame it positively to both your partner and your partners Dad. When in recovery you gain TIME back and so you have time to wait until you are ready. Your partner might find that hard as he may feel guilt and shame that he’s holding up your timelines but it’s important for his recovery that he acknowledges the reality, but in a positive way that it’s more to look forward to! 

enjoy the wedding, your and your partners recovery and looking to future one step at a time x 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post and for such lovely advice. 
I really appreciate what you said and agree I think I underestimate what time I need and focus as lot on what my partner needs for his recovery. 
I have avoided the conversations with my partners dad but think it may be beneficial to sit and talk to them about it properly so they can understand where I stand.

it tricky as his dad has previously supported financially when he had gambled and there is a part where he has used this as a 'control' of the situation. So want to express that in the most polite way I can!