Made an account in partners name

Good morning,

As much as i feel you are here in a panic type mode and not to recover from gambling i will give you my opinion.

I would suggest little or no chance of any refund. You have opened an account in someone elses name - might be some type of fraud / deception i think.

You lost a grand on your card. Dont think the gambling site will refund it to you. You played - you lost. What would have happened if you had won and ID was required.

In simple terms you are not thinking straight as you are in the fog of a gambling addiction.

My advice would be to admit all to your partner before you dig an even bigger hole.

Best

Hi Lukeyb222

Your actions are understandable as the thoughts of fraud and crime are the various points of the gambling ride to hell.

What you will get here is the truth and trusted advice. You need to be here and you are welcome.

You actually need to focus on what you have done. Its an addiction driving you to do it but you must now seek help and tell your loved ones.

You are now looking for a refund which is unlikely and all this is a symptom of your compulsive cravings to gamble. We are not really here to advise on refunds but I will say that to go down that road you will have to admit a basic level of fraud and the gambling dens are no angels.

So you can see the mess that gambling creates again. If they refund you on a technicality it doesnt hide the fact that you were prepared to do that to keep gambling.

There is no shame in admitting you are an addict and reaching out for help. If you tell the gambling dens you are an addict perhaps it will help you to self exclude or they will exclude you

We dont sit in judgement of you. I could probably have done a similar thing when I was heavily addicted..I certainly defrauded my parents which they now know about

I do know about this addiction and you can start looking at it like a drug addiction.

I do trust that you are not just looking for quick advice so you can get a refund and carry on gambling.

Please get help and start looking towards recovery for a gamble free life

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

You might have to put it down to experience and a lesson learned. What can you say, that she set up the account and used your card? That's potentially fraud on her part and as it's a lie, fraudulent behaviour on yours.

There has to be some responsibility on your part as YOU set up the account, YOU deposited the money from your card(better than using her card though!) and YOU placed the bets. You could have won, withdrawn the money and no one would have known or you could have won, not been able to withdraw the money and be moaning about that. The fact you have Gamstop in your name would suggest you have a problem with gambling so the chance of winning and stopping and withdrawing are very faint anyway.

It's gone and maybe use the expensive lesson to reflect on your problem and get some more help, on here, at GA, by talking to a counsellor or on the chat page.

Good luck to you.

Chris.

Yes thank you for the reply’s I have been struggling for a long time hence the self exclusion etc. However not gambled for a long time because of the measures in place. 
il take the hit and start again on day one today will have to break it to the mrs this afternoon some point but thanks for the advice

I'm no expert but it isn't fraud with respect to the card, because you used your own card to gamble. I have seen cases where the Industry will pay fraud for use of someone else's card but not when you gamble in a different name and use your own card because it is just a blatant attempt to circumvent the exclusion.

If another person's card is used, then there is more of a chance that they can get their money back and label it as fraud but then there is still no get out because you would have to admit that you used the card to gamble in order to get the refund. 

I had 76 gambling accounts in my own name and 13 in my partner's name. We had joint accounts, so it was too easy for me to take down the both of us. I did all the banking and my partner trusted me. 🙁 Gamstop put paid to all the run around and we both signed up to the scheme since we both knew that I was only going to open accounts again in his name. 

Getting a refund back is pointless anyway. It's not the outcome of gambling that matters here, but the fact that you are an addict and are trying to get around the measures you have put in place to protect yourself. 

It only gets worse. Stop now. 

If you had won, you would not be complaining, only worrying about verification and when they will notice the discrepancy. 

Gambling is so destructive. The addiction will make you seek out ways to bet. You need to be honest with your partner and let them help you through these difficult times. Wanting to bet sometimes is normal. Going through with it is fuelling the fire of addiction and it will never go out. 

You need to stop worrying about being found out and be honest and upfront if you want to get well. Protecting yourself is also protecting your addiction.

Was a drunken slip up last night a costly one at that but again thank you everyone will keep youse updated on how my 3rd time stopping goes now thanks again 

Yes, I totally relate. That's what can happen when you try to control the addiction....it reaches out and tries to find other ways to survive. My partner doesn't have a gambling problem but he had to sign up to Gamstop because of me. He can't even do Fantasy Football now because of me. We used to gamble together, just for fun....a few quid here and there on roulette and the odd virtual race....then I stopped gambling with him and started doing it alone and my bets increased dramatically from 50p spins to thousands in a single spin on roulette. 

It is scary how fast it grows. Progress can be slow, but it is still progress. Don't let this get you down. Relapse is typical when you start trying to quit. It can take many slip ups before you are ready to really make headway. Still, every relapse can tell you something about yourself and your gambling triggers etc..

Yes, they are expensive mistakes but if you take something from them, then they can be worthwhile. My last relapse was two years ago, it cost me over £3,500. It was ironically the best money I ever 'spent'.

All the best and don't be too hard on yourself, these are stressful times and I struggle with urges too. It is normal to want something you have trained yourself to do. Just helps if you can talk to your partner about this because urges will come and go and it really helps to just say you are struggling. Gambling is meant to be addictive. We are not defective just because we get addicted while others don't. We are more susceptible than others and the Industry exploits that very well. 

🙂

You know. The trick here is to try and understand what a lack of impulse control is. Make some space between the thought and the action. Not just immediately go for the action. If you sit back and look at this now afterwards I am sure you can relate to how far out that decision was to take when you took it. You have a fight or flight brain and a subconscious brain that does most things it wants and on autopilot. If you can relate to that fact and understand that your brain is built up in that way you can also look at your actions in a more holistic way. Pretend you are a third person for just a second looking at your own self. How would you judge you? What would you say to yourself to shake out of the state you are in? Right now you are right in the middle of an sh.t storm of emotions. Take a step back and look at your actions. The idea is not to speed up any madness but to give you a few minutes to reflect. Your written words about what happened show clearly that this was a pretty silly thing to do. The way forward is to take some responsibility for what you may do in the future. Own the problem.  Accept that things are not the best at the moment and start to seek some help. You are in the right place you just need to start the journey.

All the best

C

As others have said take some time out to reflect on this - despite knowing you had self-excluded your addiction got the better of you and you found a way around it.   I've also self-excluded, but its no more than just a safety mechanism; the thing that makes you gamble in the first place is still there until you face that head-on.

Telling your partner is a good move - I hope it went well.