We've all been to that dark lonely place....

CJ. wrote:

Don’t be nervous about the changes you are making. By removing the money from your account you are unable to spend it online.

Story wise it was a short story type one. All made up in my little brain. 🙂

I did post what I wrote earlier but all the spacing went crazy. 🙁

Glad you are doing ok and keep going. We can beat this.

CJ.

I’m nervous because when I get the urge, I’m so blazГЁ about it and it doesn’t even enter my head about the damage until it’s done .... that’s the real scary thing. No matter how much I’m up (or down) I carry on ;( makes me really disappointed in myself ...

I would like to have read what you’d done, try posting again or have you managed it now? X

You will succeed if you want to. You have all of Gamcare rooting for you.

I have a few little things I have put in place;

1. Daily small figure move. @ChasingRainbows told me about what she did so I adapted it for me.

2. I have a countdown app on my phone with a great memory of my son ice skating earlier in the year and he landed on his b*m. It reminds me of what I could lose and that memories make me smile when they are good. It’s set to count down from 30.

I’ll see if I can post the story here but be warned it was written in the esrly hours of this morning.

CJ.

CJ. wrote:

You will succeed if you want to. You have all of Gamcare rooting for you.

I have a few little things I have put in place;

1. Daily small figure move. @ChasingRainbows told me about what she did so I adapted it for me.

2. I have a countdown app on my phone with a great memory of my son ice skating earlier in the year and he landed on his b*m. It reminds me of what I could lose and that memories make me smile when they are good. It’s set to count down from 30.

I’ll see if I can post the story here but be warned it was written in the esrly hours of this morning.

CJ.

Thanks CJ, I appreciate all the support it really makes a difference, it has already anyway. If I can do it and see and feel the results of being gf once again, with money in the bank, I think I’ll be more determined. I’ve been thinking a lot about how you can’t be complacent, and how the terrible urge can grip you just when you least expect. @chasing rainbows had said similar, I posted on her thread last night. What she mentioned resonated with me ... and probably most of us.

PS love the start of the story. keep it coming :)) .... Kaz xxx

Hi Kaz, how are you doing? I left you a reply on my page and I decided to drop by and say hello on yours... thanks for your support and kind words. I hope that you are having a good day. You’re very positive and determined and that will help you a lot in your journey. Sending you my best. Xx

Awww thanks Maria, words of encouragement mean a lot xx much appreciated! If you get a chance and want to do read my story, it shows how it can get to everyone, no matter how good, happy, positive or sensible you think you are, once it takes grip you have to work at not letting it kill you - literally in some cases. One things I’m so glad of is I told my kids a few years ago, they’re in their 20’s now and I worry about gambling in this generation. I’m determined to try and make a difference to my life and ensure I protect them as much as I can. Speak soon and roll on day 6 gf for me:)) I’m so pleased with myself! Xxx

Hi Kaz, you have a great attitude. It was a very good thing to tell your kids. I agree that the younger generation are at risk of this. It’s so good to be open with people especially your kids. I have read your story and I see you have suffered a great deal. You have come a long way. Well, 2019 is a new year and its going to be our year Kaz.

I have been feeling a bit off form today. I’m feeling sad as I do feel that I was very used. I see from a lot of stories here too it’s all too easy to blame gambling... I feel he has character flaws beyond addiction... he chose to steal from me when he could have done the right thing. I understand that I don’t have a similar mindset or perspective to him. But he surely must have had some clarity to say to himself that he was stealing from me and should have tried to stop. I don’t believe he had any feelings for me at all and maybe that’s harsh... tomorrow is another day and I’d say I’m processing some painful feelings which is a good thing. It’s great to talk to people here.

Thanks for your support Kaz. Well done in achieving day 5. You’re doing great. Talk soon. Xx

@Kaz glad you are having a good day. 🙂 The days keep adding up.
I think you mention the key, talking to people about the addiction. It helps you get through your days and makes you smile knowing you are not alone. Whether it be in a virtual world on here, or in real life with your family and friends.
I think even someone saying well done can get there, but they need to want to change. A blip here and there is a step forward, so don't beat yourself up if you fail. All we can do in life is our best.

When you get down and out about gambling think about the great memories you have created in life. Most recently your spa day. 🙂

CJ.

Hi Kaz, sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been so hectic and I haven’t had much chance to get on here recently due to a new job since January. However, one thing I have made time for every week is seeing my counsellor. It’s expensive, I pay £60 a week and have done since I stopped gambling nearly 18 weeks ago. But, £60 a week is not a patch on what I was spending on gambling and it’s really helping me move forwards as a gamble free person. I really feel that it’s helping so much, he’s giving me lots of practical things to do both now and moving forwards with my life, I would seriously recommend it if you’re really struggling. That said, I definitely know that I haven’t beaten the beast as I know it can creep up on me at any time, which is why I need to keep my guard up.

Willpower unfortunately isn’t enough, you need to put everything in place that makes it impossible to gamble and it sounds like you are doing so. Just keep taking ever day as it comes and time will fly by. Life without gambling is the best life we can live! I really hope you have a great day today! Good luck

4th time lucky wrote:

Hi Kaz, sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been so hectic and I haven’t had much chance to get on here recently due to a new job since January. However, one thing I have made time for every week is seeing my counsellor. It’s expensive, I pay £60 a week and have done since I stopped gambling nearly 18 weeks ago. But, £60 a week is not a patch on what I was spending on gambling and it’s really helping me move forwards as a gamble free person. I really feel that it’s helping so much, he’s giving me lots of practical things to do both now and moving forwards with my life, I would seriously recommend it if you’re really struggling. That said, I definitely know that I haven’t beaten the beast as I know it can creep up on me at any time, which is why I need to keep my guard up.

Willpower unfortunately isn’t enough, you need to put everything in place that makes it impossible to gamble and it sounds like you are doing so. Just keep taking ever day as it comes and time will fly by. Life without gambling is the best life we can live! I really hope you have a great day today! Good luck

Hey no worries :o) we’re all busy. Sounds like you are really determined to beat this, 122 days is fantastic! I have thought about counselling, I can do it through my employer for free, I think you get a few sessions and then take if from there. It sounds like it’s working for you. What sort of things do you discuss? Do you think part of our past and how we try to cope with everyday life is part of the problem as to why we gamble... do the councillors manage to tease that out? I’d be interested to know. Anyway, you are doing so well and probably a whole lot better off now in all ways :)) I’m dreading payday on the 20th as it will be the real test, but I have Gamstop in place now and my daily diary on here... I don’t want to let myself down (or my family who have no idea) I’m 100% committed!

Have a great week ... Kaz xxx

CJ. wrote:

@Kaz glad you are having a good day. 🙂 The days keep adding up.
I think you mention the key, talking to people about the addiction. It helps you get through your days and makes you smile knowing you are not alone. Whether it be in a virtual world on here, or in real life with your family and friends.
I think even someone saying well done can get there, but they need to want to change. A blip here and there is a step forward, so don't beat yourself up if you fail. All we can do in life is our best.

When you get down and out about gambling think about the great memories you have created in life. Most recently your spa day. 🙂

CJ.

Hey CJ sorry for delay, I’ve had a great gf weekend and been updating my recovery diary daily :0) it really helps! I’ll be in double figures tomorrow - 10 days! Exciting for me..... hope all ok with you ... Kaz xxx

CJ. wrote:

@Kaz glad you are having a good day. 🙂 The days keep adding up.
I think you mention the key, talking to people about the addiction. It helps you get through your days and makes you smile knowing you are not alone. Whether it be in a virtual world on here, or in real life with your family and friends.
I think even someone saying well done can get there, but they need to want to change. A blip here and there is a step forward, so don't beat yourself up if you fail. All we can do in life is our best.

When you get down and out about gambling think about the great memories you have created in life. Most recently your spa day. 🙂

CJ.

Hey CJ sorry for delay, I’ve had a great gf weekend and been updating my recovery diary daily :0) it really helps! I’ll be in double figures tomorrow - 10 days! Exciting for me..... hope all ok with you ... Kaz xxx

Hi Kaz,
Did you think you could get to double figures?
You are doing exceptionally well.

Keep smiling and you can do it.
CJ.

Hi Kaz
How you doing chick?
What day you on?
Keep it up!

Hey @C.J Just 9 more minutes.. Did he miss the alarm and sleep through it?

No Bella.

He woke up the next time he heard it and sat up as he silcenxdf it. His world though was now spinning.

What had he drunk last night?

How did he get home?

He couldn’t remember.