Why do you think you gamble?

Hi myfreedom

We have moved your post to the Debates and discussions part of the forum as we felt it was a more appropriate place for this type of topic.

Best wishes

Forum admin

Hi

I found that it was really for every other reason than the money. Bored, Lonely, Depressed, self esteem issues and I didnt want to go home to an empty flat.

Unware and even ashamed of my own abilities I had no vision for the future. From a promising career start in which I was actually duped as a youngster I ended up doing a series of extremely iffy short term minimum wage jobs that nobody else would do hence the availability. Even in an office it was short term agency based with d**n all chance of a reference that meant anything.At one point I was taxi driving for someone and earning £2 an hour on a self employed basis which gets round the minimum wage legislation.

I did courses but got scared of setting up which is costly if the work doesnt come to fruition. I began to doubt I was capable of anything which added to self esteem issues

I had become a loner as my friends were more casual aquaintances that I was latching on to with no deep or meaningful relationship

I am not ashamed of giving an insight into a gamblers mind. I was more depressed than I realised at the time and gambling was never the answer

I am not ashamed of admitting how my life had spiralled down I couldnt get work where I wanted for every other reason other than my ability. Every mickey mouse fake, low level course the dwp would send me on or bad news about forced sanctions would set me off on an escape trail. Every rejection by a woman or something not going my way would head me off to a gambling den.

Although everyone has a different story this is the level at which you have to start looking at yourself. You need to face yourself to face the gambling addiction. I know that although the money plays a part its often not mainly about the money.

That is the level to which you have to admit it to yourself even if you cant write it down on the forum

Best wishes to everyone on the forum

Agree with the above post. Gambling and depression and a feeling of isolation go hand in hand. That's what it was for me anyway

I started gambling because I was bored.

I am a loner by nature and on evenings where I am not busy or felt restless I would gamble to pass the time and for some excitment.

I am currently 2 days gamble free and have been putting my 'spare' hours into an altogether more healthy hobby of writing.

Well it sounds weird, really, to me there is no specific reason except for that I earn too much when I earn more than my needs, I use to spend it any way I go for. Sometimes, I give away all my savings in charity, and sometimes, I lost them in a bet. 🙂

sarahemi wrote:

Well it sounds weird, really, to me there is no specific reason except for that I earn too much when I earn more than my needs, I use to spend it any way I go for. Sometimes, I give away all my savings in charity, and sometimes, I lost them in a bet. 🙂

Well I looked at this for a while but sorry Im not going to let this go. This is a very casual statement starting with you earn too much and spend it in any way you like. May I remind you that this is a recovery forum and its gone a bit further than extra money/savings we can afford to lose.

The addiction may sound weird to you because its a complex illness. Even your handle states that gambling is normal behaviour for you. Perhaps you dont have a problem then so what have you got to add for those that do? I dont want to get personal but your statement has upset me with its casual approach.

You have also highlighted a logo design company so is it an advert?

I dont really understand what you are getting at. Perhaps you could explain a bit further

Hi Sarahemi

You'll see that I have contacted you seperately, however, this is just a polite reminder of our forum rules and etiquette: http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/chatroom/chatroom-and-forum-etiquette#.VGOJC19FC71

Please refrain from advertising on the forum and remember to be respectful and mindful of others and the difficulties they may be experiencing.

Best wishes

Forum admin

My reason was debt. I thought I could make it go away after a few first good wins. By the time I realised it had consumed me. It had put me further into debt chasing losses. I thought if I carried on it owed me as the amount of money I had sacrificed. Carried on chasing, took out further loans thinking that win was around the corner and I could pay them all off. Then sunk into depression, gambling was an escape, I was hypnotised and it was an escape from reality. Like nothing else mattered when I was indulged in that world. Then reality kicked me, I was further in debt, struggling to make payments... it was desperation. I never felt so alone. All I wanted was it to be ok.

In my head I tell myself I do it for money, when I have money I'm good with it, I have a job, no debts I have no bills but as I say I tell myself I do it to finance myself.

Gambling is a harmful drug that eases all my pains instantly. Only that it kills me at the end.

I guess I gamble because of habit. I think back to all my good wins, my good experiences gambling.... the close wins etc... but I totally forget about all the dark times that come with it too. Stupid really! I basically gamble for the excitement because I’m bored.

I think there's alot of individual reasons as to why that just mold into a huge gambling mess.

Same sort of things that have been mentioned before. The boredom and isolation. The thrill, adrenaline and dopamine rush.

In the earliest of days like 10years ago where it wasn't quite a huge problem yet it partly was because I had money that I had nothing else to spend it on and just wasted wages that I could of actually saved for something. So that ties in with the boredom and loneliness and depression side of things. I guess I'd lost the ability to care about much.

These days where it is an actual problem. Yeah boredom plays a part, but it's also an escapism from life. And it's the panic and desperation to get out of debt because now I actually have goals and things that I want to afford. Just the mention of morgage on a radio advert sets me in a panic to want to gamble.

But for me another big part I think is that I've got an addictive personality. And awful coping mechanisms. I've used self harm and drugs in the past and I still still smoke cigarettes. I obv have issues and use maladaptive coping methods to cope with life.

I started because I was in a career change phase and had a lot of available money. I didn't want to use my savings to live while I figured out what I was doing, and thought I could gamble to make money to live on. That didn't happen... then it was a vicious cycle of trying to recover losses then ended up in debt and the cycle goes on with the idea that it will get me out of debt.

However from a personal point of view, I am a 'risk taker'. I enjoy risky physical activities, I'm always bored and want to be doing something, trying new things, visiting new places. I'm very hard on myself and always think I should be doing better in life, no matter how good I'm actually doing. I have changed career a number of times without much consideration, happy to move and live anywhere, and don't settle very easily. I have also battled with an eating disorder

It would be interesting to know if these traits are similar to others here.

Hi Lizzy

Sounds like a variation of the 'not good enough story'. Perfectionism, imposter syndrome.

It's hard to say why I gambled. The story of why I gambled, when in action quite different from the current story, now that I haven't for a while. Back then it was boredom, thrill seeking, a habit. That was my story.

Now it's escapism, a feeling that I couldn't look at myself in the mirror - both metaphorically and actually. A feeling that I was not good enough.

...A feeling of disconnect socially. People don't get me. Hyper - sensitivity disguised as bolshi-ness.

So take all that. Then add in a phobia of feeling these 'negative' emotions. Fear of being lonely, fear of being rejected. Becoming allergic to feelings represses everything and I'm living but no longer ALIVE. Increasingly I need the sugar rush.

I indulge the sugar rush and it allows the repression to continue.

That's more my story now. It might be wrong but feels intuitively right.