I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months. It is the best relationship I've ever been in, he is the most loving, caring partner and we completely adore each other. When we first got together, he was very open about the fact he used to be a gambling addict and was in recovery. His last bet was around 6 months before we met. When the year anniversary of his last bet came, we celebrated the occasion and had honest and frank conversations about his past.
Around 4 months ago, I found out he had relapsed and had gambled every penny he had. It was a truly devastating time. He hit rock bottom, was suicidal and nearly broke up with me because he believed I 'deserved better'. It was so painful to see the person I loved be so consumed by addiction and the self hatred that came with it. I stuck by his side and gave him all the support I could. After that, he proceeded to gamble his next two paychecks, again reaching a very low place. Since then, however, he had seemed to be on a better path. He attends counseling every week and now when he gets paid, he doesn't immediately gamble everything he earns. He also told me yesterday he feels really good and positive about it all, and I truly believed he was on the path to recovery again.
We are due to go on holiday next year, which we are paying off in installments. He booked the holiday (before he relapsed) so he was in charge of making the payments. He text me today saying it was final repayment day, and he asked me to send him over my half of the money so he could pay it off. I stupidly did, even though I had a niggling feeling that he might be lying, as I was sure the payment day was at the end of next month. I asked him to send me a confirmation email that he had paid it off for my own peace of mind, and rather than sending this he sent me the booking confirmation of the holiday from months ago, which set off alarm bells for me. Anyway, on this email I was actually able to access his account using the booking ref and see what he had paid off... I found out he had been lying about paying the money off and has paid off a fraction of what I have sent him. I feel sick that he has lied to me about this and actively asked me for the money. He's currently away for a few days with his friend and I haven't felt able to bring it up with him via text message, and also, despite everything, still want him to enjoy his weekend, so am waiting until I see him face to face on Sunday. I just feel utterly devastated that he has lied about this and not sure what to do. He recently moved in with me and I love him so much. It absolutely breaks my heart that he is going through this, but at the same time I also feel so hurt and betrayed by him and just generally very overwhelmed 🙁 I am dreading Sunday and having to bring it up with him as don't want to spark a downward spiral, as he has seemed in such a good/happy place recently.
Hi Anon, welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear this has happened. Understandably, you feel hurt and betrayed by your partner's actions. You are welcome to contact our helpline at 0808 8020 133 if you would like to talk to an adviser about what has happened and how we can support you both moving forward. We are open 24/7. You don't have to go through this alone.
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