I’ve caught my boyfriend out betting for long periods of time and losing a lot of money 3 times within a couple years. Each time he says he’s too scared to talk to someone but this time is trying more. I feel like my trust is completely broken, I feel sad and vulnerable but I don’t want to put that on him I want to help him and support him with whatever he needs.
Welcome and well done on seeking advice here. The most important thing for you is to not enable him. Do not give him money to settle debts etc. This will not help him. Secondly, make sure you are not going to be impacted financially by this.
Now you must address his desire to quit. If he is committed he will allow you to control his money for him, see his bank statements and credit report and put gambling blocks in place. He has to be honest with himself, and you if he wants to beat this.
You can trust him again, but only if he can earn it. He will have to fully commit to a recovery programme. Has he contacted an advisor on here? Has he installed Gamban/Gamstop/Bank blocks? He has to take these steps or you will be back in this situation again.
I wish you all the best and good luck with some difficult conversations coming up.
Hey,
So. I have been said boyfriend.. The ONLY way I was able to stop was with the Harsh reality of my partner finding out and pretty much telling me to stop or that was it for being a family. I'm almost a year gamble free and still at the moment Transfer ALL my money to her and then she tops up a pre paid card (monzo) so that I don't ever have the urge to do it again..
But Ultimately it NEEDS to be him who wants to stop, I would definitely suggest a harsh chat and make him use the Gambling tools available and all the self exclusions .
If he wants to stop and you want to support him you'll get through this.. Sometimes it's just as hard if not harder on the Partner of a Gambler because your hands a tied
@nhl9pce6x8 this is really useful thank you. What about crypto what are your thoughts on that? My initial thoughts are that he shouldn’t be investing money in and out of crypto all the time it’s basically the same as gambling ??
Crypto has no set outcome. Any money put in could potentially increase, or potentially decrease. The person putting money in has no control over this. To me that is gambling. There are some who make money off it, just as there are gamblers who make money off gambling, but there are many more who lose. I think we've heard this story somewhere else before! Crypto for me is just gambling but with a protracted timescale. He's putting x amount of money on a hope that it comes good sometime in the future. No different than putting x amount on a horse in the hope it wins.
Hope this helps. Others may think differently.
Stay strong
@i9ypw3bacx 100% This is still Gambling. Realistically, most things he will do is gambling. To be able to fully quit he should 1) talk to a professional, 2) do other things to fill thr time he gambles. He will probably need a lot of support, but so will you. Anything that means he has to use money to gain something else is gambling so keep him well away.
@i9ypw3bacx 100% This is still Gambling. Realistically, most things he will do is gambling. To be able to fully quit he should 1) talk to a professional, 2) do other things to fill thr time he gambles. He will probably need a lot of support, but so will you. Anything that means he has to use money to gain something else is gambling so keep him well away.
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