Don't know what to do, husband CG.

Just wanted to say hi...I'm the gambler in my marriage ...so not best placed to comment...someone will come along soon who will be more help than me....but good luck love x

Thanks for your advice.

So far he is doing what he needs to by going to his class and he has gave me his passwords for his online banking.

I have managed his money before but it's also stressful to have to do that so at the moment his money is going to his bank and then he is giving me money for the bills etc and access if I need it. What do you feel works best if anyone has been through it for a long time and find works?

Is there anyone here that has been with CG for a long time and they have stopped gambling completely. I just don't know how long it will be until he does it again and it's that worry that bothers me and makes me on edge.

Thanks

Thanks for the advice

He is at GA meetings already and they are helping him a lot. He has been back now for about a month. I have his password for online banking but don't know if he has excluded hiself from websites etc which could be another step.

I have seen a lot of advice to put your own interests first and think of yourself but in what way can you do this. It's hard not to think about it when your living with someone and also don't want to live separate lives. I am with my daughter most of the time I have my own business which is stressful too as Im in there 3 days and trying to run that and look after the house too so we are very busy too. Its hard for me to enjoy do the hubbies/days out i enjoy myself because he word full time and plays professional football part time also so if he isn't at training he is at GA meetings, therefore he can't watch our daughter that much really.

I feel better now that he is going to GA and have noticed he has a clearer head but it's always stressful thinking about it.

Thanks again for your comments

im basically in the same boat as you minus the family support and minus any treatment going on- don't know what to say but wanted to say hi xx

Hi, GamWife,

Can you get to a GamAnon meeting? Equivalent of GA but for the affected families, support from people who have been there. I find it worth the effort.

At the end of the day, looking after yourself is about changing your mindset and responses so that your happiness, security and peace of mind aren't determined by his gambling.

Take care,

CW

Hi
Bark in silence . Sorry your going through the same and hope you get some good advice also.

I don't think there is a gamanon class in my area at a time I can make it but ill have another look.

I am quite fortunate in the sense he has never taken out a loan or credit card etc as he has bad credit so everything he loses is usually his hard earned money as he gets a good wage. But that makes it worse sometimes because it's money we could have saved or done nice things with.

He seems to be doing ok arm but I will keep updated and follow your advice about myself that is my next step. Thanks a lot for all your advice and anything else you can think of feel free to add as ill be back on checking other forums and this often.

Hi, GamWife,

I don't want to worry you, but...

Do you "know" that there are no loans or have you checked? CGs lie - the lies include understating the extent of any gambling and understating debt. Rely on what you see on financial documents, it would be unwise to rely on what he says.

Get credit reports in your name and his from all three credit reference agencies, he will need to cooperate and if he doesn't that would indicate something to hide. I insisted on notices of correction to the effect that he doesn't want future credit, again he needs to cooperate.

Look after yourself.

CW