Enough is enough

Addcits of all kinds surround themselves with a wall of beliefs and people who will protect them from the reality of what they are doing.Its easy to say from here, Im not living your life, but i would say stop protecting him, let him stand alone and see what he has made of his life. Tough love. It might just be the shock he needs.

Hi Katiecola

I could have written your last post myself. It's awful isn't it? I know exactly how you feel. My husband's family are useless too. I also wonder what is going to come of him.... I have just (hopefully) bought a house for myself and, meanwhile, he is saying he can't stay with his friend for much longer so will probably end up 'sofa surfing'. It feels so wrong.... And, like you, I don't think he deserves it. He is a good, kind person but it's all just gone wrong for him. Of course I haven't been the perfect wife either.... I don't think I will ever walk away and not think about him, wonder how he is doing etc.

It's very hard x

Well you are much nicer people than me, as mr P approached his rock bottom i had sunk into just loathing him, couldnt even speak to him and didnt care what would become of him. It took an awful event in my personal life to shake me out of what we had become and see that life was too short to give one person so much of my life for just abuse in return. Too many other people deserved and earned my love and help, letting go was suddenly easy. And it turned out to be exactly what mr P needed too. but thats just me.

keep talking

This battle in my head is unbearable. He is leaving on Monday. I am meeting with a solicitor today. But I still don't want any of this. I want my husband better, I want a happy family. But it's gonna be blown apart. I still see the lovely man I fell for. But I have to make him hit rock bottom? What if it goes the other way- alone, depressed, skint? He might get even lower- and I would have put him there...

Absolutely 100% no, you did not put him there. This place where he isn't actually at yet. You have not put him there. He has made your life intolerable and nothing you have done has stopped him. And nothing you will do will make him carry on. I understand the fear, I've been there, it can be over come, life will feel better soon. Relax, deep breaths, 1 hour at a time.... Keep talking

Katie, hello? The alternative is let him carry on all cosy whilst he steals from you and gambles what he steals without consequences. He's not bothered by what he's done to you and your daughters to the extent that he's prepared to stop. Unfortunately he's a CG with all that entails. It's not you and you really can't control whether or not he gambles.

You will cope because you're strong.

CW

Thanks everyone for your replies. I guess it feels like I'm pushing him out because I put my foot down and said enough is enough. Nothing was changing and now I have time off work it feels like I can be around for the girls when they need me. In my sensible head I know he needs this but my heart says he doesn't deserve it. It's just so painful.

Hi Katiecola

"In my sensible head I know he needs this but my heart says he doesn't deserve it."

In the old days when the PC brigade weren't around, a good kick up the backside by the local Police Sergeant was what I deserved AND needed.

It has always been up to him, his choice. Just as it is now.

Take care

Hi Katiecola

I just wanted to say I am thinking of you today. Be strong

Love Orchid

Ditto.

CW

Thank you ladies, much appreciated.

So I've just dropped off my husband at the station. I'm on the wine, it isn't helping. How has my life come to this?

Well it's a long story, but its history, it's all in the past. The next hour is finding something to smile at on the tv. No more ambition than that, you've done enough horrible stuff today, time to be kind to yourself. I would suggest cake too, or chocolate. Or chocolate cake?

Thank you pangolin. I feel like you've been on this awful journey with me. As have many other kind people on here. I think I'll avoid Britain at the bookies!! I'm so worried what will become of him. I really should swap the wine for chocolate cake. Maybe tomorrow.

Hi half life,

thank you too. I hope you're right. It just feels so awful.