My boyfriend gave up gambling 4 years ago. A friend of his tragically committed suicide a couple of months ago. This man, along with a group of friends were all gamblers, and this is how my boyfriend knows them.They have arranged a memorial game of poker that will last all day and will become an annual event. I’m not sure, but the money may be going to charity. My boyfriend was originally going to meet them for a drink after the gambling had finished but now he wants to play poker with them and has told them that he will, despite his addiction and despite me being upset and worried about the potential consequences.
Trickey one chrissy....I'm only 30 odd days gamble free...but I'm sure if I went near a slot machine...which was my vice...I would be back on them full-time....somebody who has been in recovery longer than me will be along soon to answer your question....but from a newbie...and for what it's worth ...I would be saying ...no thanks...I'm happy to donate to charity but can't be part of the game xxx
Trickey one chrissy....I'm only 30 odd days gamble free...but I'm sure if I went near a slot machine...which was my vice...I would be back on them full-time....somebody who has been in recovery longer than me will be along soon to answer your question....but from a newbie...and for what it's worth ...I would be saying ...no thanks...I'm happy to donate to charity but can't be part of the game xxx
Thank you. He seems convinced that it won't lead to a relapse and to be honest, I don't know much about gambling or the addiction and whether or not you can be completely cured. He said it's not about addiction but it's about being with his friends and honouring the memory of their deceased friend. I just see it as temptation? I could be wrong obviously. I don't understand what it means for an ex gambler to have a game of poker (his former vice) after 4 years of giving it up?
Hi, Chrissie,
What happened to the friend was tragic and would be a warning against gambling. But nothing about this tragedy makes the proposed poker prudent for your bf. It's obviously a step in the wrong direction, as your instinct tells you. I would advise you to listen to it.
Someone trying to recover from a gambling problem will have been advised to avoid temptation. GA phrases that I've heard include, "if you want to stay dry, avoid wet places".
Your boyfriend would not participate if he is serious about his recovery and I would regard any suggestion to the effect that you are fussing over nothing to be manipulative.
BW,
CW
I am a compulsive poker player; I have won loads leading to the belief I can 'always' win = why I am an idiot. The answer is no. No gambling not now not never. Sorry but hope that helps.
ChrissyD wrote:
My boyfriend gave up gambling 4 years ago. A friend of his tragically committed suicide a couple of months ago. This man, along with a group of friends were all gamblers, and this is how my boyfriend knows them.They have arranged a memorial game of poker that will last all day and will become an annual event. I’m not sure, but the money may be going to charity. My boyfriend was originally going to meet them for a drink after the gambling had finished but now he wants to play poker with them and has told them that he will, despite his addiction and despite me being upset and worried about the potential consequences.
If it was me, I'd be staying well away from the gambling aspect of the day. Would I attend the drinking part? thats tricky too because its concievable they may decide and continue the game from before. Alcohol and gambling rarely go well together.
Look no one can tell you what's best, but like other posters have suggested make sure your aware of what the consequences of him playing again could be. As an addict, i still look for the easy ways i could get back into gambling and this has the feeling of being seen as sociably acceptable. Please be wary! Ok it might end up being fine, BUT and its a big but, it could flare up worse then before. Are you prepared for that?
Hi Chrissy
Is there another way your boyfriend can pay tribute to his friend without having to attend this poker game? I try and put myself in that position and its hard to imagine my friends wanting me there if they knew the full extent of my gambling problem. One tragedy should not lead to another.
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