Hello, I'm so worried, I've been with my partner for over two years now and we have a child. His gambling never used to be that bad, he did it, but with his own money. Since moving home, he's become increasingly bad, I don't trust him with money at all. In the past 3 months he has spent every penny he has on roulette machines and any other money he can get his hands on (rent, food shopping).
Any else having this problem and any suggestions?
Hi, Good112,
Gambling does get worse, it becomes compulsive, addictive, the compulsion to bet for the big win takes them over. In fact they can't win because they can't stop but until and unless they accept this, their common sense and decency fly out of the window and you find yourself caught up in a nightmare. And once addicted, they can never go back to social gambling, in the same way that an alcoholic can never have a quick drink.
If you read the forum, you'll be well informed and you'll know what to expect. If you can get to a GamAnon meeting or phone the GamCare helpline for support, you'll see that it's not just you. And that none of it is your fault.
My husband is finally in recovery. This means that he has handed over financial control in full, I drip feed him minimal pocket money. We have every possible barrier in place to minimise (we can't totally prevent) the risk of future applications for credit behind my back, he cooperates with these barriers, his mobile is non Internet and all computers to which he has access have blocking software. He goes to GA twice a week. This is very different from the half measures, blame, denial and lies that I got last time round. Even with him in recovery, I don't find it easy to get over his past misdeeds and nothing's certain, I don't control whether or not he gambled. However, when it blew up this time round, he was only able to remain in the family home by doing what it takes to go into recovery. From where I am now, nothing less will do.
Hope this helps,
CW
Hi good112,
Thanks for posting here.
It seems like you’re really struggling to cope with your partner’s gambling problem, and I’m wondering if he’s willing to do something about it.
I suggest that you encourage him to contact us (Gamcare) for advice on strategies and boundaries to enable him to overcome his gambling problem. We can also refer him to 12 sessions of free counselling if he thinks that would help him to stop gambling.
Gambling problem gets worse if you don’t do anything about it, and it can easily get out of control, and most people need professional help to overcome it. Thus you might perhaps take some of the advice you read from the forum, and also from cynical wife as above for that matter. I suggest that you discuss with your partner, and take control of all his finances until such time that he feels well recovered to manage his finances again.
I think you both need professional help and support, and I advise that both of you contact our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for further help.
I wish you all the best in your effort to seek help for your partner's gambling problem.
Do take care of yourself till then.
Kind regards,
Beatrice
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