Hi, I’m hoping that some one can give me some advice for my situation
I’ll try and keep it brief. My husband and I have been together 10 years. He (and his family) have always gambled.
In recent years he spent more and more time in casinos playing poker.
Everything came to head (or so I thought) last summer after he went to a stag do in Vegas. He came back having spent all his wages for the month, had borrowed money from friends and relatives and taken money from the company he runs with his parents (I work there too).
The company had to bail him out.
It wasn’t just gambling either, it was C*****e as well.
He said that coke was the problem and promised he would get help. By the autumn he still hadn’t got professional help and had started gambling again so I asked him to leave and figure out what he wanted because I couldn’t go on as we were. He didn’t leave but he did start seeing a counsellor.
i thought things were improving but when we received a letter saying that he’d missed a loan repayment, I took a look at his bank account (which he freely gave me access too). I was horrified to discover he’d been Online gambling, borrowing from friends, taking money from the company, and had overspent by several hundred pounds. When I confronted him he said that the drugs were the problem not the gambling.
On top of all that he has huge personal debt and because of all the “extras” from work he has a huge tax bill. Obviously all this is putting a lot of pressure on him which drives him further to his addictive behaviour. He is continuing with his counselling after a break over Christmas. I’ve been referred for counselling through Gamcare and am going to see a solicitor so I can find out the financial implications for myself and our young children if he ends up not being able to repay his debts or keep the company going.
I guess I’m just wondering if anyone can give me some advice on how to live with this without going mad, and how to get him to accept the gambling is a real issue. Can he get better? Thanks for reading x
Hi Tilly, I think you are doing the right thing by seeing a solicitor. He can get better if he wants to but he has to see he has 2 problems. It would be a start if he found a meeting either for his drug addiction or his gambling (n*******s Anonymous or GA). His counselling should help if it's specialising in addiction. For you gamcare can help or a Gamanon meeting for real life support. The best thing to do is safeguard your finances. Have you discussed the money being taken from the company with his family? For debt concerns he can contact stepchange. A compulsive gambler can arrest the addiction, but the first step is admitting the problem. While he can get his hands on money the cycle will continue. Hopefully you have a good enough relationship with his family to try and get them to realise the problem and stop his access to money.
Gamcare editing my post !
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