I don't know where to start....

He will probably use his credit cards to pay for the other 2 planned trips, when I question why he has spare money he just says he's been saving.

He's doing it right now, sat opposite me on his laptop, and he thinks I don't know.

Oh really? Dunno what to say. We just went for lunch- I paid ofcourse but ended in disaster.

Why did it end in disaster?

I really want to tell him I know but I'm really scared.

Why are you scared?

There will be an argument or there will be more lies. Or both.

I think you have to say something. Maybe as he is doing it right in front of you some part of him might want you find out- just a thought. Perhaps he knows he's got a problem but doesn't know how to tell you. Either that or he is just so blasГ© that he gets a buzz that he can do it right infront of you!

Hi Chiqy,

I never know if I should post on this section or not.

I've gambled on and off for more years than I care to remember.

I've been gamble free for 28 days and remain determined to stay stopped until the day I die.

You see I'm committed to this. 100% COMMITTED. Thats the key word.

Chiqy, I'm going to spell this out for you and it will read very harsh.

Your partner seems to love his gambling more than he loves you.

You've only been with him two years. He may be a gambler but he's not stupid. He knows that your complicit in HIS LIFESTYLE and letting him get away with it. He's not ready to be 100% committed to giving up gambling. HE MAY NEVER BE. CAN YOU WASTE YOUR LIFE WAITING AROUND TO FIND OUT ?

YOU have to take control of YOUR life.

You are still young enough to leave him and set up a new life for yourself. It will be hard but not as hard as putting up with HIS LIFESTYLE OF CHOICE. If I were in your shoes I'd upsticks and get out and live YOUR life to the full.

If your partner wants top end up in the gutter or worse it's up to him. HE IS WEAK. You can be STRONG.

Think about it. Either a life of pure hell or a life where YOUR FUTURE is in your hands and not someone elses.

I KNOW ABOUT ALL THE LIES CG's can come up with. I should have been on the stage with some the acting I've achieved.

I've said to the bosses at work that a family member had an accident and broken their leg and I have to rush to the hospital. In order that I could b*gger off to the races for the afternoon. I've had to attend non existent funerals miles away to go gambling. It sounds funny if it was'nt so bl**dy serious. Yes that's a CG for you. All lies.

Some of this post may be hard reading I know.

As far as I know we have only one life and YOU SHOULD BE IN CHARGE OF IT.

Ultimately I and others can dispense advice but only YOU can decide.

Thanks for reading this.

Bye

If I get up to do something or go over, he opens a different window, he really does think I'm stupid, I know far more about computers than him, hence me being able to see his history on my machine without even installing anything on either computer.

Thanks MrStop 🙂 I wish you well.

Wow mr stop, you've made me think. Thing is,how do you know if your CG husband is commited 100% or not? I think in my heart I know that he isn't. Or maybe he just needs more help, more time. Or maybe I'm just making excuses for him. He tells me I'm better off without him which I guess should be telling me all I need to know.

Looks like he's winning, he's been on the withdrawal page. I'll probably say something tonight.

If someone is 100% committed. They will take action. ie contact Gamcare for counselling. GA meetings. Put the their finances in their wife or husbands control. They will self exclude from local bookmakers. They will block gambling sites on all their electronic devices. They will apologise for all the s**t that's happened. They will post on sites like this. They could have a diary on this site. They will do the 2015 challenge on this site. They could visit their GP and discuss the situation as they could very well be severely depressed. They kake up old hobbies and sports that they have neglected to replace the evil of gambling. I HOPE I AM SPELLING IT OUT. It's what they do to prove to THEMSELVES as well as others their commitment.

Katiecola only you know the mechanics of your relationship.

Have you talked to your GP ? I know you say how unhappy you are. If you are very depressed and the GP puts you on antidepressants it may give you the impetus to truly speak your mind to your man. It may enable you to be that bit stronger and harsher with thim. Tough love in other words. It may enable you to take control of the relationship and to start to make life very difficult for him. Instead of the other way around. Counselling could help you do this as well. Believe me trained counsellors are not in that business because they are stupid. They can give you ideas and strategies to deal with your situation.

Just some food for thought.

As I keep saying I've been a gambler on and off for years. I KNOW THE PAIN I'VE CAUSED. It has cost me a relationship in the past. At that time the person was entirely right in their decision to walk away from me. It hurt like hell but i deserved it.

You don't deserve the s**t you are getting.

Take Care and whatever happens, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

Thank you for your reply Mr Stop. So I rang gam care and passed phone to him, I rang step change. I persuaded him to go to GP- he now has anti depressants, I am driving the changes to the bank accounts. He goes counselling but tells me he doesn't find it helpful and has missed 2 sessions. I go and haven't missed 1. He self excluded from bet 365 but then I found out he had an account with *****- he closed it last weekend. I don't want him to post on here- this place really helps me- I don't want him to read my posts!! He does apologise a lot.

I know it doesn't sound good. But he is severely depressed and I just think when the tablets kick in things might change. I just asked him if he was 100% commited and his answer was -I am trying.

I tried to explain that I'm not looking for a guarentee but some drive to succeed rather than me pushing him. He has agreed to attend GA next week and I'm going to the gam anon meeting. Thanks again for your thoughts - it's good to hear advise from someone who's been there. You sound like you're doing really well.

It does seem as though you are doing the right things.

He does need to get a lift in mood. The anti-depreesant route does seem good.

If these particular ant-depressants don't work. GP can prescribe other types. I'm on one that really did the job for me.

I think you both can turn this situation around.

Take Care Now.