Hello everyone,
My husband has frittered various amounts of money over the years and it has been a big deal at the time but never caused too much of an issue.
We are really struggling for money at the moment and basically ive found he's won and lost 24k in the last month alone. I caught him out when I read the bank statements he was strangely shady about.
At first he was all remorse, crying, sorry etc (this was 2 days ago) telling me to take his card, cancel it so he doesn't know the number, take full control of finances and give him a cash allowance.
This morning he's resisted and hasn't given me his card.
Am I fighting a losing battle? I've hidden his passport so he can't open a new bank account, blocked betting sites at home but his mum says he will find a way to gamble even if I have full control.
Any advice greatly appreciated. I reacted really well and want to be supportive but I feel sick. We have a young family to think about.
Morning Bonnie. .welcome to the best place for help and support...I'm the gambler in my marraige....so probably not the best to help you....other wifes in your position are here and I'm sure they will be along soon to help....x
Hi bonnie
Sorry to hear what you are going through, are you fighting a losing battle? I'm sorry to say I believe so. You cannot force change in him, you can help and support but not make him see it through. Sounds like he isn't ready to stop but you are. Can you encourage him to get help? Contact gamcare?
Tell him your concerns, now the dust is settled and you reacted well is he likely to go back to gambling norm?
Interesting you say you reacted well!! I do the same, don't want to scare him off telling you but I'm not sure this method is best its a tough one.
If you have joint finances I strongly advise you seperate them to protect yourself and your young family, also spend some time considering your limits in this scenario if it isn't going to be faced
Thank you everyone. I wam to believe him but I just don't trust him right now. I think im still in a bit of shock and don't really know how to handle the situation
I think that's a fairly natural way to feel- trust your instincts!!
Welcome Bonniesloth
It's not surprising that you feel in shock and not sure what to do next. You've taken an important step by coming on here, and I can see that our forum members are here to support you. You are also welcome to call our freephone helpline, details are at the top of every page of this website. We can also offer you free counselling if you'd like to have a space where you can get support and work out where you go from here.
Keep posting, and take care of yourself
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