Lost

I have been with my partner off and on due to gambling and drgus. When he is in recovery he is the most amazing man i have ever met. I work part time and i have always covered the bills and rent as he moved in with me. I dont make a lot on minimum wage but i am good at budgeting. He on the other hand makes around 70 thousand a year. For the first while I helped him pay off his debts. And they were "paid" or so i was told. I found out a few days ago, they have not been paid. I have a child who was looking forward to a holiday next week which has now been cancelled. He has gambled everything and has not a penny left. When his behaviour changed recently i approached him and asked was he depressed. He snapped at me and said that i was nagging him and talking to much. He finally told me that he had stolen thousands. And i broke down and told him to leave. He went to the shop and i locked my front door. He shouted abuse at me. But i did not let him in. He blames me for not noticing the gambling signs and said its all my fault. I have tried everything. This man has a bath run for him on return from work, his dinner prepared, snacks brought for him and a lunch made if i have time. He gets his cloths washed and ready for the next day. He gets love and support and i dont even socialise with friends any more. I work 4 days a week and i am returning to university in October. I am absolutely heart broken that I can not believe I have accepted these behaviours for so long. He has told me hes applied for a place in rehab. And wants me to take control of his finances and help him. But im exhausted, i have a busy life as it is and this constant surveillance of another human is weighing me down. I walk on eggshells and i used to be fun and bubbly. Now i am a shell of myself. I keep telling myself that the abuse is because of his gambling addictions and that hes hurting and i need to be strong, not take it personally and that it is one day at a time, that tomorrow might be better. But i dont know if it is. I wish someone could shine a light on the links between gambling and abuse. Im afraid it will get worse. He said he can not do this without me. I feel guilty for kicking him out. But he needs to know that his behaviour is unacceptable and impulsive. He has made me feel disgusting and used, he said i am only good for the bedroom. Im embarrassed to say that i actually believe this, even though if i heard this from someone else i would say its nonsense. But i dont believe i am good enough. I dont even know what else to say. Im broken, but if anyome else has experienced this type of abuse that is in relation to a partners gambling relapses, please tell me what to do.