My dad has been gambline since he was about 16 years old and now hes 48 he will spend all his money and not be able to eat for days because he won't tell anyone. He denies he has a problem and comes up with every excuse under the sun why he gambled all his money. His health is getting badly affected by this and I can't watch him do this anymore. Something needs to be done.
Hi,
Sorry to hear it, particularly worried that you may think it's down to you to fix him. It isn't because you can't. He controls what he does and you control what you do. You can't make him give up gambling. There's no blue pill, he has to sort himself out. The help he needs is available in GA but he has to go there and take it.
Focus on you, do what you are doing, get help and support and information for you so that you can cope with the situation you're in. Call the helpline, tell someone in real life.
Take care,
CW
Hi bikergirl6
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad's gambling and the affect it's having on you both. It sounds like your dad has become so desperate to gamble that his own health is now neglected. I can imagine the idea of stopping gambling would be very difficult for him. Is there anyone else in the family you can talk to about this for some support/ideas? It seems like a lot to take on alone and who knows for how long this will continue.
It may be worth suggesting that your dad goes to his GP to talk about his health and what's been happening. I appreciate that it seems unlikely he would be willing, however continual support and encouragement can do no harm. It would probably be helpful for your dad if someone else managed his money for a while so that he can ensure he has money for other essential costs such as food and bills at the start of each week/month. He could also self-exclude (ban) himself from the gambling venue/s he is using, however again this would require him to be willing to take active steps to stop gambling, and it doesn't sound like he's there just yet. If your dad is going for days without eating then he can go along to his nearest food bank: https://www.trusselltrust.org/ Helping someone who doesn't want to be helped is clearly very challenging and frustrating, and so remember that we are here for you too.
Take care of yourself and do stay in touch with us. How about talking to us about this a bit more on the helpline: 020 7801 7000 or netline: https://aurapp01.mplaurora.net/chatapp/joinchat.aspx . Both services are open daily from 8am - midnight.
Best wishes
Laura
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