So my partner hasn't gambled since 1st May. I'm really proud of him so far but still know he has a long way to go. He still hasn't done anything about the counselling and hasn't told his mum yet. He also hasn't had a payday since he stopped so I think that will be the real test (though money should be getting transferred straight over to me, we'll see what happens) As I mentioned before, we have a baby (7 weeks old) and I was worried about getting PND as I have a history of depression and I was feeling fine, until I found out about his gambling. I feel like because I'm trying so hard not to get angry at him and succeeding most of the time that all the pent up anger comes out when he's at work. I find myself sitting at home crying for hours because I haven't unloaded the dishwasher or there's too much washing to do so I'm getting really overwhelmed with everything and I don't think it's a coincidence that this has started since I found out about his gambling. When he is at home I feel really anxious. He'll be on his phone and I'll be worrying and getting angry anout what he's on or every time he watches football/talks about football I get really worried and anxious and upset as I know he used to bet on games. I feel like if it was me I would want to just step completely away from the football as I would find it tempts me more and reminds me of gambling but I know it's pretty much his only hobby so I get why he isn't doing so. I just don't know how to stop feeling this way and don't know if/when it will stop. I hate the fact I don't trust him anymore. And not just about money. It just keeps entering my head that if he's lied about this for so long then he could have lied about anything/everything. Will I ever stop feeling like this? Sorry for the essay I just had to write down my feelings x
Keep talking is how you get through.
Get a counsellor for you, ring the gamcare helpline, come to a gamanon meeting. Actually the helpline is probably the best as they are right therre right now. It isnt you thats wrong, but this is not ordinary circumstances, we all need some extra help to come to terms with this extraordinary stuff.
b****r alll housework was done at my home for the first few months of a new baby, it doesnt matter, well when you look back it doesnt matter, i know all about the tears at the time though 🙂
Dear ella-toni,
Congratulations for the little boy. And congratulations of the fact that your husbent accept help, even though I am sure you feel as you have to babies at home. Sorry I am talking like this, but I have been in the same situation whe nour baby was 1 mounth. He promesed to everything we had, he will never bet, he never had money, as I took his finance, but he did put us in serois debt with friends and his family. You have to tell everybody too, that he has that problem. He cant controll that. Even though I did lose, that doesent mean you will, just be strong and dont tolerate him in nothing.
Dear wal1957 I love your way to explain, you are so precise in what Gamebelers do, and your advices help me a lot. Thank you.
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