Not sure what to do!

Hi Wonderland30, welcome 🙂

My advice would be to phone Gamcare & get some support first of all! Then, & most importantly, you need to separate your finances so his debts are his debts! As long as you continue bailing him out, he's going to continue breaking your heart! Us CG's are fairly loathe to accept we have a problem even when our loved ones are falling apart around us! You are not over-reacting, he does have a problem but sadly, there's nothing you can do to stop him if he's not willing to help himself!

You are not alone & I am sure other 'loved ones' will be along shortly to offer their support & advice on how to manage this!

Look after you - ODAAT

Thank you! I have separated our money we still have a joint account for tax n rent but that's all. I only put money in there where things r due. He is upsetting me so much n causing so much anxiety but can't / wont see it.

He currently pays for all his debt even the loan I took out for him because as soon as he gets paid I transfer all the money needed. I think this month do I take it all n give him money as he needs it or will that make it worse n him more secretive? I just do no know what to do! I'm just struggling to cope !!

Hi,

I would suggest that you take charge of all finances and only give monies when needed. Also to provide receipts for anything spent.

This is the way my life currently operates and it works for me.

People talk about the triangle and having no access to money equals no gambling.

Wishing you good luck

For me the money wasnt the problem, it was the rollercoaster temper he had developed and how insignificant his family and our feelings had become.

Hi Wonderland

He has to admit to himself that he does have a gambling problem before anything will change for the better. Whilst he is in denial, things will not change. He will continue to gamble, and possibly accrue more debt without you knowing about it.

Many of us CGs thought we didn't have a problem. The only problem I had was when I walked out the door of the local every night without a penny to my name. It wasn't until I got to the stage where I literally had zero $$$$, massive debt, and no more credit available that I conceded I had a problem. It will be much better for your future if he does face the facts as they stand now and gets help.

Take care

I know that feeling so well.. Resentment and longing for something like what you see your friends have like a family or to buy a house, mines slightly reversed I long to get married have holidays abroad a nice house or just afford days out!! All things that seem so far from reality it has sent into a deep depression...

There is only one sane person in your relationship at the moment, believe it or not it is you, take control, you're the only one qualified to do it right now. (I know he'll kick and scream, but you wouldnt give in to a toddler doing it, so you're certainly not going to give into a grown adult doing it, the more he kicks and screams, the more it proves he has a problem, take control of your life)