Hello everyone, I just created this account to get this off my chest. I am 6 months pregnant. My partner has been gambling since the beginning of our relationship and before. A few times he told me he would not do it again but you know.... I was working until recently. Hard jobs but I had no choice. Because money was always lacking.Â
I finally thought it was all improving. Today in the morning he went to buy a car. He spent all day looking at cars. He told me there wasn't any good one. I told him to come home. But he went and gambled all our money away. I called him once during that time and he was rude he didn't pick up the phone. He texted me like what? and stuff like that. He texted - Can you understand me for once? I didn't say or ask anything I just asked him to come home. He said I will. I said when? He said I will come.
I knew what was going to happen. When he finally arrived he was crying. It was almost midnight. I said what happened? and he was just silent. He went and took a shower and we went to bed I just asked him Are me and baby so unimportant to you? And he said no you are important. I will fix everything. I said I don't want anymore fixing I don't want to worry all the time about money and everything. My baby doesn't have anything. No baby bed, no baby clothes, we didn't buy anything and no car to take me to the hospital. I told him I don't know if we should stay together anymore. He said I thought you loved me. And now it's like it's my fault. Like I should comfort him now and make him feel better. He turned around and fell asleep and I can't. We are not married, no engament ring, baby has nothing, I have nothing..... I feel miserable.... I don't know what to do please help
Hi @hbtprs1o03 welcome to the forum and thank you for your bravery and honesty in the sharing of your experiences. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time as you are pregnant and trying to understand your partners problem gambling behaviours, sort out what is going on in your relationship as well as being naturally concerned about how you will provide for your expectant child.
It is a lot to be dealing with alone and am wondering if you have any support outside of your relationship with your partner. I would suggest that you consider speaking to someone you trust and let them know what you are dealing with if you have not already done this.
It sounds very stressful that you have nothing for your baby and this must be a constant worry for you. Have you explored your entitlements from the Department of Works and Pensions as they may be able to offer financial assistance.
Also, I would recommend you speak with your G.P. about what you are going through as it may be having an impact on your pregnancy as you shared that you are feeling miserable and this will be impacting your physical and mental health.
There is support available for you at GamCare where you can speak with a Support Practitioner in a 121 session about any gambling harms you may be experiencing and you can refer yourself to this service for Affected Others via an Advisor on the 24hour helpline on 0808 802 0133. There is also a Family and Friends Affected by Gambling Harms online live chat where you will receive support from a trained Support Practitioner and other people experiencing similar gambling related harms also offer peer support.
Here is the link of the timetable for this and other chatrooms: GamCare - The leading provider of support for anyone affected by problem gambling in Great Britain
Your partner can also access support from GamCare if he wants to address his problem gambling behaviours and can refer himself for 121 support separate to yours via the 24 hour helpline and use the online chatrooms.
I understand that you want the best for your partner however, as you are pregnant and needing to prepare for your baby’s arrival I would advise that you focus on getting the support you need for you and your unborn child as at this time your safety and health is the priority.
You have made an empowering decision in reaching out for help and I encourage you to remain focused on your goals which are to have a good quality of life for you and your baby which is your right in life.
Wishing you all the best for the future.
Rets
Forum Admin.
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