Question about life after gambling

Is he just confident or is he certain?

I really struggle to see how he can be the latter. It just seems like an unnecessary risk to me but I am not him but maybe out of respect to you he should not go. Not everyone who goes to the races bets but it is sure to be a huge part of the conversation.

A compulsive gambler who is in recovery would probably not take the risk. You don't say what blocks he has, does he handle money, does he go to GA? What support do you have? Do you go to gamanon meetings? If a gambler wants to gamble he will. But going to the races is temptation. Do his friends know he has issues? A year is not long and is often time when gamblers become complacent. You are not comfortable with it. I would talk about it. The one certainty I would have is that continued socially acceptable gambling activities is unhealthy. Sometimes gamblers forget what affects their behaviour has on those connected to them. This is causing you anxiety. You should really seek help for yourself if you are living with a compulsive gambler.

Hi

It is only when I was abstaining from my addictions more so my Gambling.

By doing so I was not causing myself and others pains.

Yet what was very important to use my time up that use to be spent gambling, as long as my time was taking up by new healthy habits.

It is white knuckling recovery if all we do is abstain from Gambling.

As we pay back our debts and expose more of our self when we are vulnerable and more open and honest exposing more of our self that we become more mature and healthier.

How much sense does it make taking all of our hard earned money and giving away for nothing, giving it to complete strangers we do not even know.

Does it make any sense to not invest my time and effort in to some thing healthy.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

Thank you all for your replies - all have been helpful.

I’ll look to attend some meetings and would be good if he could also go and talk through either with or without me x

I'd like to add my piece to this as someone (a compulsive gambler) who is in the same situation and who has been in the same situation. 

Sport and gambling go hand in hand, its everywhere. But I'm a sports fanatic and lover, I can't not attend sports. 

I spoke to my girlfriend in depth, multiple times around the events I was going to attend, the scenarios I could get myself into, where the temptations where, how I was going to deal with them etc. It started with free tickets being offered to me for a huge boxing event about 11 months ago, I wasn't going to go but after a chat with my girlfriend, safeguards being put in place and some self/reassurance - I went and didn't gamble. 

The safeguards at the time were that I did not have my phone with me, my friend who I was going with kept it. He was briefed on my situation, he had all of my cash also and we didn't discuss gambling etc. Honestly - I went and struggled, I wanted to gamble but the safeguards worked. Bear in mind this was early in my recovery. 

I have just attended a races meeting also having not gambled. I now have control of my own money again, my girlfriend now trusts me again and I had no intention on abusing that trust. However - just in case - I agreed with her that I would take our joint account card as my only form of cash, therefore should I gamble, it would show up on the online banking immediately. Gamblers benefit from secrecy, lying and cheating. I had no way to do this even if I wanted to. 

I happily had a great day drinking with my friends, watching them lose their money and being thankful I didn't gamble anymore. Honestly, you can see the addiction whilst you're in an environment like that, its scary and put me off gambling even more. One of my friends was in for £500 and he was broken. It allowed me to observe and be thankful that I have managed to get 1 year down this road to recovery. 

I'd say this is a huge judgement call, one missed social event wont cost him anything, one bet could cost him everything. If he's open, honest, you trust him and you have the right safeguards in place - then you'll be ok IMO. Do his friends know of his problem gambling? If they don't that would be a major red flag as they will more than certainly be gambling and you know how a group of lads can get with peer pressure etc. 

My answer seems less conventional than the previous "you can't go anywhere near gambling" type answers, but the truth of it is - gambling is everywhere. If you don't learn to live with the fact that it/the temptation will always be there, then you are just setting yourself up to fail again. 

E