Hi. I'm new to this group. I'm not a gambler but I'm in an awful situation as a result of gambling. So 2 and a half years ago a guy started working at my place. He was really charming and funny and we got on well. He started to ask for money with legitimate sounding reasons which then turned into needing money to stop people beating him up or getting into trouble with his parents etc. I obliged thinking it would help him. He always had something coming to him that meant help could pay it back but they never happened. Once my savings went, he applied for 2 loans in my name. One was an online one which he only told me about when the money was to come into my account and the other was a bank one. He was really manipulative and pushy as well as lying as to why he required money. Over the last 2 years I have taken loans for me as well as him pressuring me to take loans. I didn't know he was a gambler until later on but by that point I was in so deep I felt I had to be civil with him to get something back. I have had enough of it and am at the point where I am thinking of going to the police about it. I am in so much debt because of him and have been so unhappy, scared, anxious and upset because of it.
Hi D84 this is going to sound really harsh but you need to tell the police. Loans in your name? Did they do this without you knowing? That's fraud. A compulsive gambler will not stop while someone is giving them money. If they have borrowed from loan sharks that's their problem. It's all manipulation, normally lies. They must be in up to their necks if they're using your credit. Call gamcare for support. Don't feel guilty, this is not your fault. This person needs help, but not money. Don't feel sorry for them. Go to your manager? hr? Get help asap, stop this before he does a moonlight flit. He's relying on you being intimidated by him to not get help. Do a credit check to see what else he may have done in your name. Experian, noddle etc. Please don't let this go on any longer.
Sorry to see this.
The loans he's taken out in your name were fraudulently obtained and you will need to go to the police as a starting point. It would be a good idea to take expert advice on the loans he's pressured you into taking in your own name. If he asks again you really must find it in you to say no more and mean it. Any problems he has may well be exaggerated for sympathy but either way they are his caused by his actions and he must deal with the consequences. Time for him to stop preying on your good nature.
Agree with the advice to go to hr. He may be conning people in the company left right and centre and he needs to be stopped.
Go to the police.
They will be very helpful and supportive.
After having done so, see the relevant people in work. hr department if you have one. They will be obliged to help or protect you from being victimised further by him in the workplace.
Make no mistake, What you have described is criminal activity on his behalf and after having contacted the police and hr you will have the support necessary and will not feel intimidated by this criminal in any way.
Hello D84,
It is good to see the supportive posts our forum members have shared with you.
Please consider calling us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/frontline-services/helpline
Or if you prefer, our Netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline
We can give you details of support in your local area, including free counselling services if you'd like therapeutic support to help you through this challenging time.
You might also be interested in Victim Support. https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/
Another site that might interest you: https://www.actionfraud.police.uk/
Take care,
Forum admin.
Thanks everyone for your support. I haven't yet been to the police but I have sought advice from Victim Support, the Citizens advice bureau and I have contacted a solicitor. I am yet waiting to hear from them. Fortunately, I haven't heard from this person but I am dreading pay day. I am concerned as to deal with the debt, I have a debt management plan with Stepchange but I was and am unable to make my payment. Has anyone had any experience with them and will they be understanding? I'm waiting for the advice of the solicitor and others to find out my position before I go to the police. I will continue to post on here as it helps to talk about it. Thank you.
Hi D84 I'm so glad you're getting some advice. Let's hope they don't drag their feet.
D84 tell step change you’ve been scammed out of a large sum of money and will sort your repayments next month. They will look after you they may claim you can cut back your expenses but missing a month won’t cause big problems as long as it’s not a regular thing. Get some help and support with this and do not believe this person ever again
Thanks Anniej. I've spoken to Victim first who help victims of crime. They've advised me to report it to Action Fraud and the Police. I guess I'm scared of what will happen to me and I'm scared that he will harass me if the Police go to his house. One of the loans he took out was by using my details and the other he applied for using my details but he co-erced me into going to the bank for an appointment and then into giving him the money for both loans. I don't have any evidence of these as they were done online but without my consent. I don't have any messages from then because I got a new phone and couldn't save my messages. I'm worried about getting into trouble too. If Stepchange understand and help me, that would be great but I'm worried that they'll just say I still have to pay. I haven't blocked the person as I can use anything they say as evidence but I'm not speaking to him as I know he'll still ask me for money.
Call stepchange I spoke to them this week about another matter they were brilliant. Call them and explain everything all confidential.
Thanks Merry go round. I've emailed them. I don't know about anyone else but I find it hard to speak to people on the phone. I know email isn't the best but it helps me to get what I want to say out better.
Merry go round wrote:
Call stepchange I spoke to them this week about another matter they were brilliant. Call them and explain everything all confidential.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
