72 days Gamble free, fiancé has not Gambled since 22nd November. Don’t want to celebrate too prematurely but just wanted to share that together you can beat this.
His mood is better, he is less angry, it is quite strange now he hasn’t gambled for a while I can see how unpleasant he was to live with when he was gambling, he is more like himself again. I really hope we are starting to put this behind us, not fully convinced yet, but feeling optimistic.
My advice would be:
1. Ban online gambling
2. ban all local Betting shops
3. Put a tracker in their phone, so you can track them.
4. Take their cash card away, ban the use in betting shops if possible, Halifax do it. Ask their bank if they can do it
5. Have access to their bank account to view activity
6. limit cash they have on a daily basis
7. Be understanding and supportive not judgemental, although this is probably the hardest
8. Never let them say this is ‘this last time I promise’ load of c**P. Hopefully one day will be the last time.
9. don’t have a shared bank account
10. Take over all bills etc, get a standing order set up the same day their wages go in, that way they can’t spend it first.
this is not fool proof but a good start. It’s a long process, you just need to cut off each source as they find it.
If they want to stop they will work with you, and not think you are being controlling or untrusting. Good luck ?
Any one out there, i just relapsed after 10 years, all my rent this month and next months rent, how can i survive now?
Have you got anyone you trust to ask for help. You had done so well. Don’t let yourself chase the losses now, it will be really difficult to resist the temptation, but the betting shops always win. My fiancé lost about 10k last year chasing losses. We had a rough time. Things can seem bleak but something will turn up. Sorry I can’t be of any more help. x
Hi Rachel
Good to hear things are improving.
Just curious about some of the advice in your original post. You say NOT to have a joint bank account, why not ?
Cheers
Hi
Joint bank account, firstly you need financial independence. Also When the need takes them they will spend any money they can get their hands on. If you are looking after bills, mortgage etc you don’t want them to have access to that account, plus if they go over the over draft you will all be held responsible . I have the mortgage in my name as well. We don’t take any chances with our home or bills. Hope this helps
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