The story may sound similar to a lot of others. Our son visited us from out of state recently and stayed in our guestroom downstairs, the same floor as our office. Unbeknownst to us, he found two credit cards in his dad’s desk drawer and went on a gambling spree. We probably would not have realized it as soon as we did had the credit card company not called to report suspicious activity on the credit cards. He owned up to the fact that he had taken the credit cards and went gambling and also went on a little spending spree at a sporting good store. I don’t see How the trip to the sporting good store related to gambling. At any rate we have explain to him that he can no longer stay here at the house. He was very remorseful, said he was sorry, cried, and finally went back to his home in another state. We haven’t heard from him in over a week. We are uncertain as to what action we can take other than assuring him that we love him and support him but we can no longer loan him money or help him out financially. He was starting a new business and it appeared to be very successful and we were sending money to help with that business. He says he’s only started gambling about three months ago, but, as you know, it’s hard to believe anything a gambler says.
i feel very foolish to have believed him at all and sent him money for his business
Hi jvk, you sound like you've done the right thing as soon as you realised. Don't worry about what happened before with money, you thought you were helping. A gambler will do anything to keep it a secret. They will continue until they hit rock bottom. I hope he realises you've helped him in the long run.
Hello Jvk
Welcome to the GamCare forum. It's so sad to realise that you can't trust your son while he remains a compulsive gambler. You are very welcome to keep posting here and we hope you can draw strength from the other members here. However, if you feel you need help closer to home, you might want to also contact gambling resources in your own country. It sounds like you live in the US, so you could contact the National Council for Problem Gambling https://www.ncpgambling.org/ and/or GamAnon https://www.gam-anon.org/. If your son accepts he has a problem and would like to seek help, the National Council for Problem Gambling can help him also, as can Gamblers Anonymous http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/.
Keep posting,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
Jvk wrote:
The story may sound similar to a lot of others. Our son visited us from out of state recently and stayed in our guestroom downstairs, the same floor as our office. Unbeknownst to us, he found two credit cards in his dad’s desk drawer and went on a gambling spree. We probably would not have realized it as soon as we did had the credit card company not called to report suspicious activity on the credit cards. He owned up to the fact that he had taken the credit cards and went gambling and also went on a little spending spree at a sporting good store. I don’t see How the trip to the sporting good store related to gambling. At any rate we have explain to him that he can no longer stay here at the house. He was very remorseful, said he was sorry, cried, and finally went back to his home in another state. We haven’t heard from him in over a week. We are uncertain as to what action we can take other than assuring him that we love him and support him but we can no longer loan him money or help him out financially. He was starting a new business and it appeared to be very successful and we were sending money to help with that business. He says he’s only started gambling about three months ago, but, as you know, it’s hard to believe anything a gambler says.
i feel very foolish to have believed him at all and sent him money for his business
sad to say your story is not unique. this progressive addiction can destoy lives when it touches addicts hearts.
So what can you do? I love when you say about assuring him you love and support him. My family made a similar declaration. As they said they loved me but hated the illness inside.
The positive I can give you is an addict in recovery can be one of the nicest, kindest, humble, passionate and communicative person going and getting honest and loved support from those who understood the illness helps me so much.
Now we talk a lot more, share and generally are closer, but none of us forget why this is the case. I hope I never forget i'm a recovering addict and those around me will never trust me 100% again but i'm ok with that. I'm happy working on the 95%
There's lots of help out there - gamcare, gamblers anonymous and many other agencies. Maybe reach out and get some support for yourself too?
All the best, T
Don't feel foolish... we have all been "fooled" by a CG.
"When we know better, we do better". You now know and have handled it simply and decisively... which is way more than I was able to do when I first found out. Kudo's to you!
As Tri says maybe get some support for yourselves. Gam Anon has been very helpful for me on the roller coaster called addiction.
Cathyx
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