worn out.

Hi Gem,

is he back living in the house then? You can't go on like this. I think you should visit your GP. Wanting to sleep all the time is a classic sign of depression. Can you speak to his mum again? I went to a solicitor and we spoke about my husbands debts. As long as they are all in his name you are not liable even though you're married. Can you phone your counsellor when he goes out? Maybe ring gamcare again to seek advise? Even the police again if you feel threatened by him. I expect you're having one of those days where you are so tired and worn out that you can't think straight. Can you visit your sister for a break, a change of scenery? Your health is the priority now. X

Hi GemLou89

Have you tried the Gamcare phone service? Can you and the kids go away for a few days? Visit friends or a family member? Take a break from what you are going through with him.

Here are a couple of thoughts on addiction and selfishness. My opinions only, not based on any study. The recovering addict has to be selfish. He has to look after himself first and foremost. By looking after himself, he hopefully gets better, and that helps the family.

You also have to be selfish. By all means you can support him if he is attempting recovery, but first and foremost is your personal health, both mentally and physically. If you don't take care of number one, you will be failing your kids firstly, then yourself, and lastly your husband.

So, at the risk of repeating myself, you must look after yourself as best you can in the situation you find yourself in. You and your kids are the priority now, but you won't be able to help anyone if you aren't as healthy as you can be given your current situation.

I hope what I have written makes sense 🙂

Take care

Hi gem Ive got some good grouos ur husband can talk to they helped me x x

Hi gem Ive got some good grouos ur husband can talk to they helped me x x

Hi Gem,
I haven't really got any advice just thought I'd say I'm in a similar situation/have been.
I know its good to hear there are other people out there that know what you're going through so you don't feel so alone.
My partner has lost lots through gambling, yet still does it.
He did seek help before, but this time he's refusing.
I hope your husband gets the help he needs and you get to talk to your councilor.
Keep posting x

Thankyou everyone for your replies.
It really has been a down day and he's pushing all his emotions on me and it gets too much. He thinks things can be fixed in a day. He gambled just yesterday. Instead of having the kids for me so I could get to my friend who was at hospital he was in the bookies. He's such a let down to us all at the minute then expects forgiveness the day after, it is unreal!

Me and his mum tried an intervention earlier but to no avail. He's still staying at her house. It just feels like this will never ever end. I've been to my brothers for the day and kept myself busy but the day still ends up me alone on the sofa watching tv, it's awful. I'm going to see my GP tomorrow and explain my situation.

What are the groups you use chris? Any advice would be welcome 🙂

And im so sorry Rose that you have to feel like this, take care of yourself I know it isn't easy xx

Its such a selfish thing isn't it.
My partner is refusing to get help now, and saying "everyone makes mistakes" and if his word isn't enough then we may as well split.
Then other issues seem to resurface and I'm all confused again.
Its good that his mum seems to be supportive of you and trying to help as well, must be so frustrating when he won't help himself..
Hope you're ok x

I would be very tempted to call his bluff there (well i did with mr P), the answe ris "No your word is not enough, you lie all the time, I'm not surprised if people think GA is full of liars, active CGs are all liars, the word of a liar is not enough", or whatver you manage to scream at the point you get to say it. Not everyone makes mistakes like this, they're actually fairly rare. So often on the gambelrs end of the forum i read that "everyone gambles to some extent", they just dont, I know so many people who have never placed a bet in their lives and wouldnt think to. Active CGs are impossible insane.

Mr P got on his high horse and was leaving. Until he realised he didnt even have enough money to get a bus. Dont know where he thought he was going. He didnt go anywhere.

Hi all,

Another bad day here, more money lost. It's so out of control I can't even to begin to explain my emotions. On the one side im trying to better my own life and on the other he drags me straight back down. I wish I didn't care about him and that I could just cut all ties. I haven't heard from my councillor either which isn't good. Hopefully I can sleep tonight and get some energy to face tomorrow.

Gem.

Hi gem,

I've had to resort to sleeping tablets now! I've had a bad one too. My husband admitted that he is still gambling so I've gone through all this c**P for months and he's still at it. I feel like you - it would be so much easier if we could just wash our hands of them. But they are the father of our children so that's never gonna happen.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow....

Hi Katie,

I wish I could have sleeping tablets bit I'd be too paranoid with having kids so young. I had a horrible nights sleep again with constant waking up. I was falling asleep at my brothers yesterday im just so exhausted. He's taken the kids for an hour so im going to tidy up and keep busy because if I sleep I won't want to get up! Hope your day is better today xx

Hi GemLou,

You may want to discuss sleeping tabs with your GP.

I was going through a really difficult patch a while back. My GP just gave may one week's supply. I used the seven tabs spread over a period of two weeks and they really helped on really bad nights. The GP made it clear to me that she would only prescribe this one lot (because addictive) and not to ask for any more. I didn't. They helped me short term though.

I am a former CG and can never go back to that kind of life again. CG's can find a different way of living. I do hope you husband will be one of those.

Take Care and Best Wishes to you and others on here.