After 14 years of gambling, I decided enough was enough.
I tried before, but didn't succeed, when I look back, I now realise I was not ready to stop, I had to change certain aspects of my life to help me stop gambling, and the main one was talking and opening up to my loved ones.
I would wake up early and check my phone to see what football games was on, and say to myself I would only do 1 bet, unfortunately so that turned into a second bet then I would gamble throughout the day, in the process of this I would ignore my family and my mood was effected by my gambling , I didn't like who I was, so how could I expect anyone else to like me.
I would get paid, lose my wages then I would lend money of family members or take out loans/overdrafts to fund my addiction.
In my opinion i was certainly a problem gambler, I had no control, my only focus was to bet, I would gamble untill I had no money left. If I won I would be happy however when I look back, I associate any winner i had as a high interest loan, as I knew the winnings was only going back to the bookmaker plus more money on top.
Any bet that nearly won, spurred me on to quickly put another bet on, however I would up the stake, as I would feel I was very close to a winner.
I lied to my partner , promised I wouldn't bet , then I would slyly put bets on or if a game of interest was close to winning I would avoid communication with my partner, either by going to the bathroom ,or go to a different room and watch a live stream, it was to the point I would go our my way to cause an argument so I could go in a different room to watch the game in peace.
The turning point for me was when my son asked me why was I always on my phone, and asked questions about the green screen I was always looking at. I noticed my relationship with my partner was drifting and I was always unhappy , I was mentally and physically unfit.
I decided to act, I new I couldn't do it alone, I opened up to my partner, asked for help.
First things first, we agreed that my partner would be in control of the finances. I added a blocking app on my phone so I could not access any betting websites. I added a gambling block on to my bank cards and self excluded my self from all local bookmakers and also online bookmakers.
I also identified that I would have a massive gap to fill with no gambling in my life, so I decided to join a gym.where I go 4 times a week at 5 am, to this day I have not missed a session. My focus now is on my family and myself.
The early days/weeks was very difficult, I always took it 1 day at a time,i believe my goal was very realistic. If I said to myself I was never going to bet again , then that potentially could of added pressure onto me me.
Each day was a milestone for me, as I used to bet every day. Then my mindset would change as what I deemed as a milestone , like Saturday football fixtures, big racing meetings.
Each day that went past I was not only saving money, I was more importantly spending precious time with my family. I would then start focusing ahead, booking family holiday to give myself a focus, spending my money wisely, creating memories (good memories).
Today it's been 653 days since I last done a bet.
My only advice to anyone who wants to stop, is that there is plenty of help available,,reach out. TALK to your loved ones. Be realistic and don't expect it to happen overnight, the process can be long but once your on that journey to recovery ,it feels so good.
I know I haven't made it, I never will.however by doing what I'm doing is an achievement in it self.
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