So here goes this is my story .....
I started gambling at 18 on bingo sites. Odd £5 here and there. Then this quickly progressed to online casinos and playing slots, I won quite a lot of the time and after buying my first home on my own at 20 it was great for the spare cash ! Now things escalated quickly and the only thing I would pay is my mortgage and I started spending my full wages on gambling. About a grand a month, sometimes win but mostly lose. I then started borrowing money to get out the mess as I'd got myself in abit of debt. At one point I won 12k and paid all off. No debts, and was well up to date. This started a massive down hill spiral as I then was constantly chasing to win big again. Within a few months I was back in debt and behind on bills. I begged borrowed and stole, I borrowed thousands to pay my bills off my dad š I feel so much guilt and shame I have panic attacks when I think of it too much. I am slowly paying him back. But I had a huge relapse this month and last. Iv gambled all my wages both months, sat here with £20 in my purse and that is all. For the first time I am two months behind on my mortgage, I can't sleep I can't eat. I need advice on how to pull out of this mess š I don't even know how I can get through the month. I live on my own, no one to turn to no partner, only my dad but he's so porley this will tip him over the edge .....! It's my best friends birthday today and I am meant to be going there to her BBQ .... I can't even enjoy my night I just want to curl up and die š how can I get back on track with my bills and finances ??? I want to stop ! Today is the day !!!
Hi, well done for posting - the first step is usually the hardest. As already stated big wins don't help us, they just make it worse as we gamble more and more to get that winning feeling back. Contact Gamcare and find out about the services they offer. I know myself how difficult it is when your in such a state but you need someone to talk to and get some advice asap.
Thanks guys, iv decided, I'm going to get a few ciders and go the the BBQ, I need to take my mind off things. I have emailed all my creditors and my mortgage company and hopefully I can start catching back up. I have given my bank card to my dad and told him I'm trying to save. Xx
Hi Lucy
You can install free software which prevents you from going to online gambling sites. Info on this is available under the Get Advice heading at the top of this page.
Have you got a friend who you can confide in? Ideally, you should turn over your finances to somebody, maybe this friend, and limit your access to cash, credit etc.
This addiction will defeat you if you don't get help. GA or counselling would both be good places for you to start. Don't be afraid or embarrassed about asking for help. Too often, our ego prevents us from asking for help. The longer you delay, the more financial damage you will do.
If you are having trouble with your mortgage repayments you should contact your bank immediately. Tell them you are short on cash at the moment. They will be able to arrange something to suit both yourself and the bank. The worst thing you can do is not tell them or ignore a repayment.
If you want to stop gambling, you can, BUT you really have to want to stop. Follow the advice that you have been given by previous posters, inform yourself about the addiction and what barriers you can put in place to help prevent your gambling.
Take care
Hi Lucyloo
My son is the compulsive gambler and is 26. His addiction has been going on since he was 18.
Wal1957 hits the nail on the head saying "This addiction will defeat you if you don't get help". I know the money lost and being in a financial mess is a BIG worry but this addiction is not about the money. Its much deeper than that and those emotions must be dealt with if you don't want to be dealing with the same ***t 10 years from now. It is a very progressive addiction and will not just go away with sheer willpower.
Wal1957 gives some great advice from a position of experience but as he says you have to be ready and want it!
Emily82 wrote:
Great positive post Lucy!
I too am already feeling a little better.. After all it's just money ay?! Hopefully we will both learn from this horrible experience and never be at square 1 again. Time will heal wounds and our bank balances š
Enjoy the BBQ!
thanks Emma, it's mentally draining because we feel it's our fault but at the same time we can't control it ...... It's so c**P ! I'm going to beat this, I'm skint for the next 4 weeks but I can do it ! So can you ! Keep me updated xx
Amom wrote:
Hi Lucyloo
My son is the compulsive gambler and is 26. His addiction has been going on since he was 18.
Wal1957 hits the nail on the head saying "This addiction will defeat you if you don't get help". I know the money lost and being in a financial mess is a BIG worry but this addiction is not about the money. Its much deeper than that and those emotions must be dealt with if you don't want to be dealing with the same ***t 10 years from now. It is a very progressive addiction and will not just go away with sheer willpower.
Wal1957 gives some great advice from a position of experience but as he says you have to be ready and want it!
thankyou, I wish I had a supportive family around me, I can't talk to any of them. It's a shame, iv worked so hard for what I have I just feel contany guilt. I'm trying to be positive xx
Emily82 wrote:
Defo!
I'll try and leave you a daily message for at least the next 4 weeks. I'll be pretty busy on here reading other people's diaries from beginning to end to remind myself how evil gambling is and how great recovery is. Speak soon and stay strong
Em x
how are you doing today Emma ? I came home early last night and got some proper sleep which I feel better for. Xx
Lucy you sound just like me I am also 23 gambling female and can relate to everything your saying except behind on car payments not house payments and blowing all my wage on gambling and being skint for four weeks. The guilt, hurt. disapointment you get in the pit of your stomach isnt worth it. My new tactic is whenever I get the urge to gamble when I get paid is to go and reward myself with some new make up or new outfit or pair of shoes. As your probably the same as me in thinking spending money on clothes shoes etc is wasting it but have no qualms about throwing it into a gambling website!! But this way I feel instead of splurging on online slots etc I can reward myself with something actually worth my money and cos im more tight with money when it comes to actually treating myself I may actually be left with money left over! š Good Luck xx
Hi Lucy , Emily and Girl J , how you all doing ? its a dreadful bug once you catch it and reading your posts it all sounds similar , i can,t say i had the big wins like you mentioned but had little wins and big losses and big chases , dirty big chases which feel lie a black hole , until you can,t eat or get on with normal every day expenses
This forum great to chat to people who understand , not everyone does , why would you waste your hard earned money ?? only a CG knows how gripping it can be and how it can spiral , im free to chat anytime , i been to GA and its great to have a mob num if you need to talk im joe 07960430309 you not alone
Hi guys thanks for your responses ! I'm feeling aloy better, I'm so s strapped for cash but I know now I can't carry on like this .... It's tormenting. And your so right I am going to treat myself, Defo, I would rather do that than sit crying for days xxxx
hi lucy
really glad to hear you feeling postive today as the saying goes life goes on , where bouts do you live ? have you been to your local GA session , its every week and people like us just having a chat or a cry and share experiences as its only really CG that can appreciate your inside mind and offer real tips to start getting better and start loving life again , please txt , ring me if you ever have a bad urge or re lapse and try talk you out of it as sometimes we at are most vulnerable when we are upset so take one day at time , and remember the gambling triangle , you expericing at moment , time , money ,location , break one of these you can,t gamble so your skint now so you can,t , but going forward the urges will return so break the bloody addiction traiangle hunny
xx
spraggy2014 wrote:
hi lucy
really glad to hear you feeling postive today as the saying goes life goes on , where bouts do you live ? have you been to your local GA session , its every week and people like us just having a chat or a cry and share experiences as its only really CG that can appreciate your inside mind and offer real tips to start getting better and start loving life again , please txt , ring me if you ever have a bad urge or re lapse and try talk you out of it as sometimes we at are most vulnerable when we are upset so take one day at time , and remember the gambling triangle , you expericing at moment , time , money ,location , break one of these you can,t gamble so your skint now so you can,t , but going forward the urges will return so break the bloody addiction traiangle hunny
xx
hi spraggy,
i live in Middlesbrough, Thankyou, I feel better and better, I'm just scared of pay day š x
Hi, Lucy
You've not gambled since last time, with no small effort from you but also because you're skint. You won't be skint on pay day. If you read the posts, you'll see exactly what happens on pay day, you've done it before. You know the risk. Your choice now as to whether or not to let it happen again.
You are committed to stopping, you're doing well, so how about putting barriers in place NOW for pay day? Someone else to look after your money? A basic cash card with no visa? Also, sort out at the bank to make sure that at least your mortgage goes out on pay day, otherwise you'll end up being repossessed.
Strong barriers or weak will power? Your call.
CW
hi lucy
i was in newcastle last month , love the people in the north east , go have a night on the town with friends and treat yourself and keep your mind of gambling , then again i tried that and if you get too drunk the lure of casinio could be rear its head , i get paid friday too and i need to break the traingle , remember time , location , money break onme and you cant gamble so either stay away or location key as you will have money , you say ur single and live by yourself so you have to be strong to yourself im bit worried for you as a CG i know , that why i left my number txt me or ring me if you fewel like a wobble talk ithrough not worth being skint and feeling dreadful for weeks x
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