Hey everyone.
I'm Chris. I'm a 43 year old father of 1 and an ex GA member from my early 20s.
My late teens, early 20s were chaos. Lost fortunes and GA taught me to put barriers in place etc.
Years went by and the old habits returned but the blocks stopped bad runs become an all out disaster.
20 years later, and I now think that's the problem. I've pottered around for years, earning decent money, making sure the bills were paid, but blowing the rest.
Because I never hit that rock bottom, I have meandered on feeling fairly rubbish for the best part of 2 decades. Sometimes win, sometimes lose, but long term I always lose. We all do.
Time that should be spent on my career, my daughter is lost looking at form hoping the Mrs doesn't catch me.
Because I never hit that pit, I never did anything about it. But now I think it's time.
Today was another bad day but no disaster. But in 20 years, I'll end up with nothing but regret. Question is, am I ready for this? I haven't gone cold turkey since my 20s but those were the best days of my life.
Please help with words that it's time to stop
Thanks
This is me too.... I'm 43 too and a dad of 1. Why do we earn money to just fritter it away senselessly..... if you can't answer that the time is right to try and quit. If you're like me you've never saved a penny in your life. Try giving it a go. Get addicted to making money not s******g it
Hi Chris - welcome back! I think that if you’ve taken the first step and posted here, there is certainly a part of you that wants to stop the gambling…now find a reason to fully invest in quitting. Really, YOU need to want this, but sometimes finding other things to do it for is another part of starting the process. My wife and my son were my reasons, and slowly I learned that doing this for ME was also crucial to my healing.
Ive been GF for 50 days, and it’s been a bloody rollercoaster. The first week was hard, raw and emotionally distressing; the second week was feeling of guilt, shame and depression - I felt as though I had let my family down and sunk us into a deep hole; week three was realizing that getting help, for me, was a stepping stone along the right path to a more normal lifestyle; and after week 4 I felt that there was light again, though the tunnel seeme very vast.
Good days have been few and far between, as most days I, at some point, settle on the guilt and shame…but eventually you may come to realize that gambling actually solves none of your issues - self reflection and discussion will help set you free. I eventually came fo hate the idea of throwing money at a machine and chance - most likely to lose it and have to find a way to meet ends meat…never again - money is best in my pocket and paying the bills to keep my family safe.
Hitting “rock bottom” doesnt need to be your calling, and it seems like you have you head on your shoulders still - keep it there. Put up the blockers, self exclude where ever you need to, and talk to someone about it. You will be better off doing all of this and you can avoid any further self hardship if you just start today. Today can be your day zero, and from there it will only get better.
Believe in yourself, gather your thoughts, and most importantly talk to someone about it. Post here daily too, especially when an urge hits.
Baby steps lead to walking and eventual running. You can do this!
JB
Hey everyone.
I'm Chris. I'm a 43 year old father of 1 and an ex GA member from my early 20s.
My late teens, early 20s were chaos. Lost fortunes and GA taught me to put barriers in place etc.
Years went by and the old habits returned but the blocks stopped bad runs become an all out disaster.
20 years later, and I now think that's the problem. I've pottered around for years, earning decent money, making sure the bills were paid, but blowing the rest.
Because I never hit that rock bottom, I have meandered on feeling fairly rubbish for the best part of 2 decades. Sometimes win, sometimes lose, but long term I always lose. We all do.
Time that should be spent on my career, my daughter is lost looking at form hoping the Mrs doesn't catch me.
Because I never hit that pit, I never did anything about it. But now I think it's time.
Today was another bad day but no disaster. But in 20 years, I'll end up with nothing but regret. Question is, am I ready for this? I haven't gone cold turkey since my 20s but those were the best days of my life.
Please help with words that it's time to stop
Thanks
Hi Chris,
I first went to GA in 1988 when I was 21 and first heard abou the concept of "rock bottom".
The men (they were all men) has stories of their personal rock bottom, and they told them well after years of telling them.
I thought then that I'd never be able to "compete" with them, and slunk into decades of what I'd describe as a coping compulsive gambler.
I have several problems with the concept, but if we use a drug addict as a comparison, many peoples rock bottom is when they overdose and end up 6 foot under. Why wait for that rock bottom ?
Rock bottom can't be measured or quantified and is at best unique to an individual.
The danger of the mindset of rock bottom is that you can put off recovery for ever.
You know the mantra for GA - start your recovery one day at a time.
And what would be your rock bottom ?
Say you split up and only saw your daughter twice a week.
Could be worse - might not see her at all. Still not rock bottom.
The rock bottom myth paints a devastating picture—only someone who has lost it all (e.g. someone who’s homeless, unemployed, and sick) can truly benefit from getting help.
Why would someone with an addiction wait until “rock bottom” to receive treatment.
Your mental health is just as vulnerable as your physical health.
Wait for a rock bottom and you could wait for ever.
The choice is in your own hands.
Hi Chris, admitting it is the first step, it isn't easy, creating problems that wouldn't be there if we didn't gamble, put blocks in place everywhere you're able to, speak to like minded addicts & professionals who can hopefully help you resist this addiction, try & find something to do to keep you busy, try & enjoy what you already have & not think about gambling, none of this is easy, but you've made a step in the right direction, hopefully you can carry on in that direction & hopefully never reach rock bottom.
Thanks everyone. Ive made it to 2.20pm keeping busy with work. Temptation is there as are the funds to do it shouldni wish, but for today at least im choosing not to do it. Can anyone remind me of the best stratrgies for dealing with the early stages? Thanks
Thanks everyone. Ive made it to 2.20pm keeping busy with work. Temptation is there as are the funds to do it shouldni wish, but for today at least im choosing not to do it. Can anyone remind me of the best stratrgies for dealing with the early stages? Thanks
you put the barriers in place.
gamstop for online.
MORSE for the shops
Gamban for your devices.
most banks will allow you to block gambling transactions.
if access to funds is too much of a temptation then hand control to someone else.
stop watching sport, stop reading the sport pages.
Get to a GA meeting.
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