Hi there my story is no different to others here that I just read. I was 24 days off gambling till yesterday. I had been attending the GA calls in Ireland where I live. Yesterday I lost 3k on horses in 2 hours when my wife was out walking. This followed 2 5k loss 4 weeks ago. My wife asked me why I gambled yesterday and in truth I couldn't answer her fully .it was a combination of chasing previous losses and spare time at home on my own. my betting amounts have increased hugely this year and betting has long ceased being fun. I bet 1k a race yesterday without a thought. It's the compulsion that really scares me though I know I will really regret the lost money in the comings days and weeks. I have a good job, lovely wife and family and no debt but am seeing hard earned savings disppear rapidly. I handed over my credit card to my wife some weeks ago but still remembered the details for online yesterday . Online is a scourge for me so i have closed 2 accounts permanently now. I have starred the process to closed my credit card account last night and told my wife everything though not sure if this was brave or cowardly .As I write this I feel the pain which has been inflicted on my wife.something you probably all have felt with partners or family. I am resolved to beat this as I now realise what losing control really meant on those GA calls. I am 48 years old started gambling when I was 13 going to horseraces with my dad. It set me on a slippery path, endless afternoons at university spent in bookies . I gave up gambling for nearly 8 years from 2005 and attended GA. I felt great then.I'm back where I started but this time Now with my own family so so much more to lose. I am wary of making promises that i gav e given up for good as they dont sem to last. I g a v e decided i will reach out to as many people as possible. I need to tell one other friend or family member as I can't burden my wife only .Thanks to all who offer any advice and support. I can't do this on my own, my final realisation of this came yesterday.
Hi, I have no words of wisdom for you as I last gambled yesterday. I hate it, I don't enjoy it and like you just chasing losses, for that you have to bet big which makes the losses greater. You are in a position that you have no debt to pay off and have taken the steps to stop by blocking your accounts. Be proud for the steps you are taking.
You can do this, before you end up like me and so many others having thousands of pounds worth of debt to pay back for something we don't even like. It's a constant reminder of how stupid and hurtful to others we have been. You hurt too I know, one day at a time, maybe we can do this together.
@miketp Sorry that you find yourself back in a similar situation but you've done it before, you can do it again.
I mean that both ways.
Either give GA a real go like before and get another nearly 8 years under your belt or don't and lose more, maybe your family this time.
As a believer in GA and the good that it does, I know that if you follow the guidance properly, attend meetings, and be an active member of a group, you'll get your life back on track. Remember also, don't worry about making those big lifetime statements. Just for today. Just for today you can do anything. Except gamble!
In unity,
Chris.
Hi Chris,
Thank you for your message of support and advice. I know what is required, now it's getting on that journey and sticking to it. Just for today i will not gamble. I cannot contemplate beyond this right now.
Wishing you a happy 2021.
Mike
Hi there
Thank you for your kind message of support. Every day is a new battle for me and sounds like you are having a similar time. The debt and the money problems will disappear over time, maybe easier to say that without debt but true, it will be sorted and i have decided theres no point thinking of all the money lost and it is thousands for me also over 30 years it will hold me back in recovery. What counts is stopping gambling and getting control of ourselves. I cant say i was ever unhappy gambling i just failed to take responsibilities for the consequences, starting with the hurt and pain that is self inflicted You sound like you are having a tough time yet are good enough to post support to me and other members. We are all there for one another. I wish you well for today and like me and others baby steps will do right now.
Happy New year ( better times ahead let's turn that corner !)
Mike
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