Am I still in recovery ?

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Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
Topic starter
 

Hello all,

I have not gambled online since January when I accepted that I had a problem with it (I think circa £70k of losses qualifies!). I self excluded for 5 years and I can honestly say that I haven't missed gambling online one bit, I'd spend hours in the evening betting on anything and the losses just racked up.

Since I gave up I am on the road to recovering financially and feel much better for it. I have also told friends and family of my actions and been open / honest about it and it feel liberating to do so.

So what's with the title ? Well, during the footy season I do go into the bookies to do football accas every now and then. I have disassociated this from my 'problem' as the visits are infrequent and handing over real money is much harder than pressing a deposit button and so I'm a lot smaller with my bet (£5 compared to £50 min and often £200+). My worry is that I am lying to myself as a bet is a bet and that eventually I will let this get hold of me again.

To put it into context, I would probably lay 20+ bets per day, every day. Nowadays I probably average one bet per week (couple of lines of accas) which I only do if I have time. So I feel I've got control but it's niggling at me that really shouldn't be doing this as I thought I had control of my online habit which with hindsight I absolutely did not.

I was wondering if others had experienced anything similar ?

Thanks for reading and I wish you all well on your own journies.

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 9:23 am
 G100
(@g100)
Posts: 158
 

Your story is very similar to mine, and I have the same thoughts. My problem as I see it was online gambling where to me it didn’t seem like real money in a way and the stakes I would put on would be 50/100/200 etc. I’ve signed up with GAMSTOP for 5 years and am very happy now without gambling in my life. Now 2 weeks ago I went into the bookies and placed an accumulator after 175 days not gambling. It made me feel really guilty and scared that I have thrown away all the hard work that I put in to stop and control my addiction. Really interested to see what other problem gamblers think and if an online problem can be solved with GAMSTOP and a weekly accumulator can be part of normal life. I’m not sure and think it’s best for me anyway to steer clear of all gambling, as there is a danger that the miserable life that I made for myself can return. All the best though.

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 9:34 am
KS2
 KS2
(@ks2)
Posts: 498
 

Having gambled for more than 35 years, I know I just can’t gamble ‘normally’.

I loved a day out at the races like Cheltenham or Aintree but even if it was a one off (and it wouldn’t be), I’d feel the need to spend hours studying the form, trying to nick the best price. If it was a ‘fun bet’ on the football, it would still take over my enjoyment of the game.

Winning would be a dangerous illusion and losing would end up chasing the losses.

Stopping means stopping for me, and that means no lottery tickets, no fantasy football and not even raffle tickets for a cuddly toy.

I’d rather throw a fiver in and say I’m not interested in the prizes.

Maybe it’s different if you started betting in bookies before going online. I’m in a city where there are dozens of bookies within a couple of miles of home.i feel a knot in my stomach just walking past one

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 2:45 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

To be frank no you’re not in recovery as you’re still gambling being it a different method, addicts are addicted to placing a bet it doesn’t matter what form that is , not saying what you’re doing is wrong but I’m not going to justify it to you either that’s your call. No one starts out as an addict it builds up over time , similar to smoking no one starts on 30 cigarettes a day they start with one and then eventually their having 30 a day to feed the addiction. So to summarise although you only have the occasional bet now you’ll soon be chucking 200 a time on some foreign football match at 3 am .

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 5:08 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

I think you should refrain just in case. I didn't want to get into this happen and I'm sure you didn't plan to either.
I used to go to bingo with my sister,it was our night out.i can't stand the game but it's a chance to be with my sis. However I know I can't go now cause as you walk out you walk through the slot area.the temptation would be to hard to resist. I'd do £10 but it would escalate. You've clearly done so well stay away now just in case. Good luck

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 6:19 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi, when I 1st came here, I stopped playing the fruit machines but continued to do the lottery as I felt it meant I could still be normal...Someone very wise asked me what it gave me that was so important I hang onto it if I didn’t get the same buzz from it that my usual gambling gave me? I didn’t care much for the question & so for the next 2 years, I continued “being normal” with the lottery, fighting urges to play it more & more whilst my mental state seemed to be in free fall. In December 2016, I sacked it off to walk through the doors of GA because the program advocates zero gambling & I literally haven’t looked back! I spent many many years convinced that gambling was a financial problem but it was gambling that was causing mine...I still don’t know why I gambled but I do know now that it was a mind problem.

You are wondering whether it is affecting your recovery, so maybe ask yourself the same question & if it’s giving you nothing, let it go.

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 6:33 pm
(@lethe)
Posts: 960
 

I'm not the gambler in the house but if Mr L suggested he could control any form of gambling after the chaos he caused I'd be twitchy and that's putting it politely.

As ODAAT says you might do better to ask what's in it for you and why you can't let it go completely.

 
Posted : 9th November 2018 6:45 pm
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
Topic starter
 

Hi, thanks for the feedback. Whilst it feels harmless and certainly not a financial drain it is not really sitting right with me given what I went through with the online gambling. The consensus is telling me this is wrong also so I will take your advice and put a stop to it. Many thanks all and I wish you all the very best.

 
Posted : 10th November 2018 9:11 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hi Silee70

Know exactly where you're coming from, I do irish lottery and national lottery once a week ( £8.00 in total approx), also do 10p Lucky 15 horse accumulator once a month.. My gambling issues revolved around roulette in casino's and roulette FOBT,s.

The forms of gambling I mentioned initially have never being a problem for me so I don't see as an issue but I totally appreciate and understand what you have being advised by other members ( stop means stop ).

I also know by visiting the bookies to put these bets on I'm placing myself in the lion's den.

I think you've already answered your own question by admitting it doesn't sit right with you.

Anyway good luck for the future..

 
Posted : 11th November 2018 9:31 am

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