Another relapse

Hi all, here after another relapse. I had previously gone a year without gambling and i felt a massive weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I have been gambling since the age of 17, i am now 28 with no savings, 2 credit card debts, 2 loans and 2 overdrafts  all as a result of gambling. 

I’ve always know i have a problem with this and every single day is a struggle, i have previously opened up about this to my family and girlfriend however this time i am too ashamed to do so. I constantly have voices in my head which spiral out of control and every single day i worry about money. The anxiety of this all is becoming far too much for me and i honestly can’t take this anymore. Gambling is a selfish addiction and i feel so low bringing the ones that i love down with me. I am totally ashamed at myself for relapsing and i am seriously struggling right now. 

i really need to hear from someone who understands these daily struggles of mine. It is impossible to avoid any form of gambling just now with the increase in midweek games and gambling adverts being on my tv every half hour. I can’t keep living like this - gambling turns my day into night, sometimes i go a full day without eating due to my day being consumed with gambling. I am so low right now and i am totally ashamed in myself, i can’t bring myself to tell my family or girlfriend this time round as i’ve had chance after chance with this horrible addiction. 

this is a bit of a bible being posted here but i really needed to get this off my chest and vent to something or someone, if anyone by chance is reading all of this please tell me things get better, i am so sick of feeling like this everyday, i’m knocking myself ill over this and i can’t do this much longer. I could really use any form of positivity from anyone, i need to fight this horrible disease once again from scratch.