Back with a new thread!

Hey you, I'm around but you have to email forumadmin@gamcare.org.uk for a swap & it's not instant! I can chat on your diary but have you considered picking up the phone to Gamcare? They are the experts!

J, I experienced what you are experiencing for years...It was only by telling my OH the true extent of my problem along with the help of this site that has allowed me to break free! It's fab that you are moving forwards but until you accept that the addiction offers nothing but misery you will keep the door open in the hope that it can take away this pain! I bet it was even a little bit difficult to hear of New Start's blip? Why can't I win, it's not fair? Truth is, there are no winners but the house (New Start you have to stop now or it will drag you back in too)! If you're not prepared to tell your mum the full facts, @ least ask her to help you manage your 'credit card debt'...Having access to money @ the start of this journey allows Mr Gamble to keep pecking your head!

You can do this J & I would like to say that this is just a blip but we both know you ain't got it licked yet! You can't do it your way, please stop thinking you can...Gamcare, counselling, GA, it's all out there for you. Yep it may all say the same thing, tell your family but there's a reason for that, it's the best shot you have of breaking the cycle! You don't want to disappoint your family but not telling them gives the addiction strength to keep offering you a solution...You won't get it from gambling! We cannot win because we cannot stop, you have it in you just like I did but you have to realise that, there is no controlling this beast, it needs gone!

Keep fighting J - ODAAT

I know. I just literally feel like it's not only that I don't want to tell them all I physically can't. I feel like the only thing holding my life together through all this mess is me being somewhat strong enough to deal with it on my own. If I open up about this I have to open up about everything and I don't think they can take anymore from me. My mum is already different with me as I owe her money and when she knows I haven't paid the cards off with t and I'm behind on car payments it literally will be the last straw. She won't be the same with me again it won't be a relationship between us where we're both adults it will be her checking on my every mood ad babying me and I'm not ready for the level of shame and embarrassment and my oh could possibly leave me over it. I know he shouldn't if he loves me but I'm not emotionally ready for all the upset. I haven't let myself crack trough all of this and if everything goes pear shaped I won't be able to cope 🙁 I'm now trying to think of everything possible I can do to get £200 by Thursday or its game over wish me luck...

I wrote cr a ck where the asterisks are

It also objects to h ill & k n*b too 😉

I understand what you are saying but ask yourself this...Are you really coping on your own? You have continued to gamble throughout this recovery & put yourself @ risk of things going pear shaped anyway! Gamcare will offer confidential services & you have nothing to lose by getting some help from them...They will not judge you! Nothing changes if nothing changes, believe me, I have that tshirt & if you don't figure out a way to get past payday, the addiction will destroy you!

You are not being fair to your loved ones by hiding stuff from them but most importantly, you are not being fair to you because you cannot be you! I am here & supporting you along with everyone here but please if nothing else, pick up the phone to an expert or get yourself to GA. Willpower alone is not enough but you CAN beat this - ODAAT

Hi ODAAT, by some stroke of luck I have come up with the money needed for my car payment to go ahead, so now I have paid all my priority bills this month that is a mega relief !!!! (Going somewhere) I will give gamcare a call I think, I know I cant do it alone anymore. Bcos willpower...I have none, no matter how determined I feel, something takes over me when I have money. But Its a process, I will ring gamcare and seek advice and help from them, thanks so much for being there as always.

Much love xxxx

Please, no more empty promises, follow through with some action now...I don't want you to be in your 40's & wrinkly before you realise how good recovery feels! Whilst I wouldn't go back for all the Tea in China because it would mean I wouldn't be where I am @ now, I really do regret not looking for help sooner! You have done the hard bit, you're looking, you just gotta reach out & accept the help now!

Don't breath a sigh of relief & sit back ready for next month, get plans in place now whilst you are feeling strong!

I know you can do this - ODAAT

jamie i have seriously been where you are and beleive me hunni it will get a million times worse to the point where everyone will find out whether you like it or not and you will lose all control completely over how ur future is handled. you are not coping and prving month after month that you cant do this alone. i totally understand your fear of people knowing. iv been there. i even resorted to stealing which is something i will never forgive myself for, just to avoid being found out. but when the truth came out, along came the relief and a road to recoery. i wont lie and pretend it was easy. i upset alot of people that did matter and even some that didnt (ex partner), but you know they were more relieved that there was a reason for my moods and behaviour. for the lies (that they know you are telling) and they finally felt hope that they could help. you are hiding behing excuses not to stop and still in the back of your mind u think u can gamble your way out of debt. u really cant. u are in too deep and now u have lost control u will never ever get it back and be able to gamble reservedly. u hav no choice but to stop now. my blip proved that to me. you have so many wise words odaat, and are right in everything u say. id love to swop email addresses jamie, any idea how we do it? x

thanks guys. Here i am miss bipolar again. feeling so very low. found old statements today from before gambling took hold and i swear my heart broke even harder seeing the normal everyday things i used to do, spending money at the shops paying bills on time and having money left over each month. i have been numb this past year but i write this as tears fall. my heart is broken for the girl i have lost in all of this and i am completely in dispair. i cant be strong for much longer it is running me to the groun and your right the strength i find is only false and temporary. i know deep down i can stop this....but not alone..how do i tell them will you help me? :'(

xxxxxx

J, email forumadmin@gamcare.org.uk

& ask to swap emails with me...I'm not going to do this for you as you need to be responsible for your recovery! It may take a few days for the swap but we can 'chat' more freely away from the forum & you can figure out what help I can give you!

You have not lost you...You are just tangled up in the cobweb of addiction! Temporary strength is a great start & you absolutely can do this - ODAAT

ODAAT, you bring me back down to earth when I'm so far away in the negativity. You reassure me I CAN DO IT! I need help but my actions will be what will get me through. First action being emailing gamcare right now for email swap...

Thank you!

All done. I await their reply!