How are you feeling today you had quite an emotional day yesterday you gave a lot of yourself in your posts and your initial counselling assessment. Hope you are ok not too tired. When you have your counselling sessions really tell it how it is for you and you will gain a lot. Take it easy on yourself nothing to be gained by beating yourself up, my counsellor was lovely and I could cry and laugh with her. She would say to me have you put the big stick down yet !! and now most of the time I have and you will as well.
I absolutely intend too, I will take your advice & tell my GP and I’ve the appointment booked. I do feel I’ve taken the first steps to recovery and I’m now on day 3 (free of this vile gambling addiction) I can actually write it now without feeling sick!
reading other people’s stories of they’re experiences or should I say battle has given me belief that I absolutely can do this.
please except my apologies if my post upset people, don’t be saddened as I Dam well will beat this!
Thank you for not making me feel like a freak.
tomorrow I’ll be 4 days free.
x
Hi all
Today is my 1st day of writing anything down. I’m very good at reading everyone else’s but don’t write my own.
Well here goes.
Mine all started over 10 years ago. I always enjoyed playing on line. Never more than a few quid, then carried on my daily life until I fancied another play, weeks or months later.
One day I played a pound slot on line. I won £14000. I couldn’t believe it. How exciting. That was the worse thing that could of happened.
From that day on, I Found myself playIng got nearly every day. Didn’t think I was doing any harm. How wrong could I be. The chase, The escape, the adrenaline, the thought it may happen again. How silly was I. All I have done since is spent at least 3 or 4 times more of those winnings over the last 10 years. At 60 years old, I’m finally admitting to being an addict.
Like all you guys, my story is very similar, self loathing, the feeling of guilt, back tracking all the time.
Today is the day.
1. No more gambling 2. Get my life back..
I feel so much better Already. Not only writing it down but knowing I’m not alone.
I do have a very supportive partner but I can’t bring myself to tell him again that I have relapsed again after all the crying and promises before. This time with your support I’m going to prove to myself. I can do this .
Hi everyone, I just wanted to give you an update as to where I am but firstly I want to thank everyone who has posted their messages of support and also felt comfortable enough to let me know there stories.... i truly feel humbled by your support and want to know that whilst I am here for help, goodness knows I need it, I am also here to support all of you guys too... this is a two way street for me...
I am no expert and I do not profess to know the answers but I am here for everyone who wants to talk.
So my recovery is in its infancy but already I am feeling better about knowing I am going to beat this. The difference for me is that I am doing this because I want to now and not because that’s what I think I’m supposed to do!! To me there seems to be a big difference! Previously I have been found out and then I spend a day on here then disappear! I put some blocks in place but always seem to leave a couple of doors open.... this time I really do want to be free from this demon.... everyone’s different I know but it’s taken 10 years for me to get here!
So I’m waiting for my 1-1 counselling, I’ve had my assessment which was personally exhausting and upsetting.... my anxiety is still sky high but I am seeing dr next week to help and I’m going to tell her about my gambling addiction.
Through all this I have been going to work and have managed to mask my inner crisis from everyone. Wagging tongues I don’t need!
It’s Friday night, I’ve downloaded a book onto my tablet to escape my thoughts and give myself a break!
I wanted to say a special hi to @msdespair12
Good luck everyone and thanks again for reading my message x
Also just looked at some of my older posts with the similar content that I’d been found out etc etc.... it makes me sad to see that I knew I was just lying to myself.
i have never been truer to how I feel now... I know this is for life and I know that I always have to be alert... to be honest it’s life changing for me... lots of old stuff buried deep that I am finally going to tackle! I owe it to myself to get this crud dealt with instead of carrying it around with me! It’s so very heavy and I have had it for so so long.... time to get it off me and feel better about myself!
I know it all sounds all like the stuff that we think o*g just get over it or this is wayyyy to heavy lol.... but I got to sort all my head out and it should all fall into place when I finally feel or even understand what I have been dealing with!!!
One question to anyone that may know... is there anyway we can message each other on here? I so want to say thank you to people who have responded to my post but I don’t know if they see it???
Anyway that’s enough from me for now!!
My mood is lifting xx
Hi,
I've just read your post and it really moved me. I relate to your post so much and can say ive felt all those feeling you mentioned, shame, guilt, feeling like a horrible person. I came onto this forum for the first time today hoping to feel abit less alone in this. thank you for your post. We can and we will beat this!!
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
