Hi
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I went from November last year to August this year without gambling. For some stupid stupid reason I started gambling again it took over me made me spend all my wages go short in August and this month. I was irritable again high one minute and super low the next depending if the slots came in. I was wondering how I was going to pull myself away I was thinking of payday next week and how I was going to win, I wasn’t sure I was going to quit.
Today I’ve realised I am stopping my partner was at the hospital and given bad news my heart stopped with it and upset me obviously. It has brought the reality home that while my partners poorly I’ve been staring at my phone trying to spin in a winner , I’m so ashamed , I will now stop and cherish the time I have with my partner.
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i am writing this as a diary for myself to remind me and to explain to others, gambling is a disgusting habit and there is so much more to life. While we gamble we miss the important things in life .
Hi
I could not be trusted with money on my person.
The money was the fuel that I used to escape my emotional vulnerability.
Having small amounts on my person helped me value money.
Once we stop reacting to our emotional triggers money becomes less vulnerable to us.
How many people think that huge amounts of money will make us feel succesful in our self.
In recovery I found that new skills and making healthier achievements in my life made me feel succesful in my self.
Money never made me gamble.
How do we measure our successes in our life today.
Just for today I will not gamble, that is the start of stopping self abuse on our self and others.
Healing Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Hi
Clean time can not be lost.
Dave L
I totally agree , when you’re clean and not gambling you’re living. I don’t know why I slipped up this year and went back. It’s taken a terrible event to snap me back out .Â
@q86r2ugj5p spot on I have reset to zero myself after some reflection on my actions
Once we understand what our last emotional trigger was we can learn to stop reacting in unhealthy ways.
Dave L
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