Dwelling

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(@sarahm)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

Hello everyone

It's some time since I posted- a couple of years in fact.

Had a bit of a gradual relapse over the last couple of months after my last GamStop duration ran out and I felt like playing again. Not one big blowout, just the odd late night that I went to a further extent to chase my losses than intended. It all mounted upto the eventual realisation that it had added up to a decent chunk of my savings, naively thinking I was in control prior.

I'm pleased to say that I've since signed up to GamStop again as of a couple of weeks, which is always enough to stop me completely as I solely do online slots and would never step into a bookies. I find them intimidating and really there's just the one online game that pulls me back in. I'm feeling much more secure and in control. It's a relief to have the block back on. I know I'm fortunate that it was savings so hasn't made my day to day living situation problematic or anything like that.

Reason for post is just the struggle with that feeling of "if only I'd stopped at x point" I know it's futile and the money is gone and that's that. It's always most painful straight after the realisation of a sizeable loss and gradually gets easier. This time, it's just staying with me more. I find myself comparing every purchase (from a loaf of bread to larger monthly bills) to the amount wasted. I'm finding it really hard to stop obsessing about all that. I guess it's a form of self flagellation that would drive me to chase my losses were I not blocked...I also know it could have been worse, but that's not bringing a lot of comfort. I've also spoken to friends who have been supportive.

All just thoughts I wanted to share with people who would understand really. Anyone got any advice on how to draw some kind of line under the latest loss and start to look forward? Can't quite figure out how I've done it before and/or what's different this time.

Sending good wishes to all of you out there who are struggling or know the struggle

Sarah

 

 

 

 
Posted : 23rd June 2024 12:45 am
Tazman
(@tazman)
Posts: 364
 

I was in a similar poisition as u as i lost few grand in saving and i could accept my losses i managed few months and just wanted my money back i was attending G at the time, and was told to put all blocks in place, i could accept, i was getting urgues at the time is to win it back and quit, i still had some savings at the time my relapse went acccording to plan not only did i win it back i made enough but i could stop i wanted every penny i lost in gambling and u know what happens next i lost it all and my saving and for the first time i took a loan out usually i would lose my pay check borrow money and not do it for few months however the urgur was so strong i couldnt accept what had happened i got myself into debt, it was tough for the first couple of months as i wanted the debt gone i changed my perception i didnt think i was capable of getting a loan in my mind i felt i was going to get lucky again it was also the most i lost in one night, since that relapse alot has changed this was 356 days ago not only have i managed to pay the debt off i spent the most time in recovery found a new hobby and realised if i carry on it will only get worse it did enough damage to me mentally that i dont want to experience it ever again since then i also realised i dont require has much money to enjoy the things i want in life and with block in place and the support on here im a different person altogether

 
Posted : 23rd June 2024 2:35 am
(@sarahm)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

Thanks for the reply Tazman, it sounds like you've done so well to dig deep and turn things around for yourself. I hope you keep it up.

It just goes to show how much our perspective affects our actions. Definitely something to keep checking in with. 

All the best

Sarah

 
Posted : 24th June 2024 12:19 am
(@g3y6a5jbds)
Posts: 16
 

just think of all your hard earned cash going into the gambling industries bosses pocket lying on an exotic beach somewhere paid for by us gambling addicts

 
Posted : 24th June 2024 1:16 pm
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