Hi there,
Im a 41 year old woman, married with 1 child. Not sure where to start, but I just need to tell someone.
I started gambling (online slots only)
about 10 years ago. I was having my nails done in a salon and the girl told me how she'd won some money on Jackpot joy the previous night.
I went home from having my nails done and went straight to JPJ and won £200 straight off. That was it.....I was hooked from that moment.
I think I must of joined every single online casino out there, and always looking for new ones that have opened.
It started with spending just my own money, then getting into debt and using countless pay day loan companies and getting into more debt.
My parents bailed me out once, when the debt was only 6k. I didn't tell them I was gambling, I just said my hours had been reduced at work and I was struggling.
I was convinced I would stop at that point, bring debt free.
No chance, I continued. And when I didn't have the money, I would use my husbands credit cards, to the tune of about £28k.
I was always in charge of the finances and he thought I had it all under control, but I so really didn't!
I stopped the statements being sent in the post and managed to change all the phone numbers on the account to my number. As my husband works overseas alot, I also had Power of Attorney over all the accounts.
I'd start drinking (secretly of course) of an evening, and it was like a switch went off........I HAD to play slots and just throw aways hundreds and thousands of ВЈ's.
When I don't drink, I'm so much more rational! But I also have a drinking problem too.......they seem to go hand in hand for me.
When he was home, I'd pretend to be asleep in bed, and when I knew he was asleep, I'd be playing until 4am in the morning under the covers......like a child. I'd wake up hung over, and feeling sick, not only from the drink, but from guilt too. I'd be sweating and have an upset stomach out of guilt and panick when I realised how much money I'd thrown away that night.
It went on like this for a long time......both addictions getting worse, along with the lying, guilt, panick and debt of course.
I'd transfer money from his bank account to mine when Id spent all my money. Not being able to pay my direct debits......more pay day loan companies!!
I've got 2 debt management plans at the minute, which have been a big help.
It all started coming to a head when my husband started talking about moving home and getting a new mortgage......I knew he'd find out then, when he got refused for a mortgage because of his high credit cards.
I knew I had to tell him but I knew it would mean divorce too.
I tried a few times but bottled out every time.
Then one day when he seemed in a good mood, I sat him down and told him.....I cried the whole way through, it was the hardest thing I've ever done!!
He actually hugged me and started laughing.......he thought I was going to tell him I'd been having an affair!!
I was in total shock and just sobbed out of relief and happiness. It was an overwhelming feeling.
He said everyone makes mistakes and we can work it out together, and we are slowly getting the credit cards back down.I
So after that I cut up my debit card and handed him his credit cards. I opened an easy access savings account where I had to go to the atm if I needed to buy anything.
I still continued to drink, but I could not gamble online even if I tried.
I started saving so much money! I thought I was cured!!
So, this Christmas, thinking I was better, I re ordered my debit card so that I could do some Christmas shopping online.... yep, you guessed it! Within a week I was back secretly playing the slots and throwing away my money.
We haven't been getting on to well lately and last night I had a bit to drink (I'm good at hiding my drinking).
And when in bed, I spent all of what was in my bank account and ended up transferring £400 from his account to mine........absolutely insane of me!!!!
What on earth possessed me?!
On top of that, he has recently lost his well paid job overseas!!! What kind of nasty wife am!! I've woke up again this morning in shear panick and dread.......the guilt, palpitations, just regret and stupidity.
I am going to pay him back the £400 when I get paid at the end of the month. I'm hoping he won't find out by then as I know this time, it will be the end of our marriage for sure.
I need help so much, has anyone been trying to deal with two addictions?
I've just cut up my debit card again.
I don't know where to turn.
Hi Bambi. I am also a slot addict. I find my strength in remembering the anxiety, dread and sick feeling that gambling gave me that bought me one evening to this site. I felt mentally so I'll. Now I have stopped, yes sure I have urges but not worth giving up the inner calm I now have
Hi, I am the parent of someone who has had problems exactly the same as you. The alcohol is a real catalyst for making you feel relaxed to gamble so perhaps a good idea to get in touch with an alcohol advisery helpline or local office and explain how it is affecting your life. Then I would strongly advise you ring a counsellor on here asap to discuss the whole gambling problem. They will advise you on self-exclusion from betting companies, online, mobile etc and you will feel better for talking things over with someone other than your partner, who by the way sounds like a bit of a supportive diamond. Secrecy is the worst thing and you are doing it again. Tell him again and stress that you feel this is a problem that you are trying hard to resolve and tell him you have contacted Gamcare. Suggest he comes onto Gamcare to read the posts and see what the gambling problem can be like for all sorts of people. After all we are all pretty ignorant about it if we do not do it ourselves and it is something that most people do not expect to have to deal with. I hope you can find the strength to put some of the above into action asap. No-one will judge you on here and you are not an awful person. You are someone who has been led down the garden path by the lure of nowadays easy methods of gambling and maybe spent a little too much time on your own which led to the drinking, and you certainly are not on your own. Keep in touch with everyone on here to let us know how you are getting on. Take care.
Welcome to the best place for support...like you slots was my chain around my neck..and actually the same site that I stumbled across several years ago.
You done the right thing telly hubby....hardest thing ...but he supported you...and I'm sure he will again....but get help hun. ...ring gamcare....try the counselling....I loved it..block your internet for slot sites....the harder you make it to play.....the less likely you are to try. ...
It all seems a mess now.....but it will get better. ...if you make changes....good luck x
Hi ,I can really relate to your message . I have been gambling on line ( slots only ) for 10 years . One big win and that was it . Like you I do my worst whilst drinking . As soon as I have had a drink I start in the Bingo .I then managed to sleep in the spare room (blame snoring ) and gamble until 4/5am on slots . I think I will just do £100 . Loose that . Oh just another £100 I'm sure to win ! Right one more perhaps I will put In a random amount Like £179 ( fool them into thinking that's all the money in my account ?) . Lose that thinking ah well I'm in deep do da now may as well just carry on . Next thing it's £1000 gone . The thing that really hit home with me is the fact I CANNOT WIN AS I CANNOT STOP . I will play until I loose . I like you wake up with the sweats , heart palpitations , feelings of dread and sickness . I blame the alcohol to my partner for feeling sick thd next day . It takes a few days to settle then. Few weeks later I do it all again . I have started transferring cash from my credit card to my bank . This all done in secret . I stopped bank statements , changed numbers etc so they don't call thd house . I know I cannot go on like this I'm 43 , this is no life . It's making me physically sick . I had my last gamble 05/01/2017 I'm 12 days gamble free . I've come clean to my partner . I have self excluded from all sites and looking to get parental control on my phone . The key for me is keeping busy , I find reading diary s on here helpful too . I have not had a drink for 12 days although alcohol is not an issue for me . I'm due to go to a party on 28/01 this will be a big test as I have money in my bank too ( been there 12 days , the bank prob think I've eloped ) . You've made the first step by coming here and admitting you have a problem . It's not easy my family have no idea k am so ashamed . Keep posting and good luck becoming gambling free ! If I can do it so can you . C x
Thank you all so much for your comments. Just writing the whole thing down really helped.
I know I can't gamble again now I've cut up my debit card. It worked last time, I have to realise that it's not a quick cure.
I'm not sure I'm ready to admit to my husband again, not just yet.
I felt so good when I couldn't gamble last time, the self loathing faded and it felt like a fresh start. I want to see if I can do that again. I think I'm self excluded from most casino sites. As soon as I wake up after a night on the slots, I always email the casino asking to self exclude.
But there are 100s of them out there and I always seemed to find another that I wasn't self excluded from.
But I can't now that I have no card. Just need to pay back the money and get my finances back in order. Luckily it was only from Christmas that I started again, not years worth!
Thanks again for all your messages, I'll keep in touch and let you know how I get on.
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