I've loved gambling from a very young age. I remember playing bingo at the seaside when I was just 6 or 7 years old. This progressed gradually to going to the bookies after school when I was only 15. Back then it wasn't a problem placing bets at all the major high street bookies. They're not stupid. Another life-long customer. I gambled mostly on horse racing or football.
I've had periods of very limited betting activity, for example when I was at University. I quite happily spent 4 years without hardly any betting activity at all, although come to think of it I did spend a lot of time in the bookies when I was back home over the Summer holidays.
Once I started my working life, this brought a fresh source of funds and I lived at home initially so had very minimal outgoings. I got heavily involved in spread betting, watching football matches in the evening and telephoning through my spread bets. The internet was still really in its infancy at the time. I'd bet on total goals, next throw in, number of cards, anything really.
The amount you could win or lose in moments with spread betting is frightening really.
Poker became my game of choice for many years and in a way this suppressed the gambling in other areas as I became totally hooked on it. I spent hours every day playing online. I even had poker lessons to improve my strategy. I visited Las Vegas multiple times. However, my downfall as always was not being able to resist the 'gamble' even if it went against my strategy. Ultimately, it didn't matter how much studying I did, I always ended up playing poorly due to my gambling urges.
More recently I became involved in the world of matched betting. I became completely obsessed with it and spent hours each day and weekend backing and laying bets. Initially, I was very pleased with the results as it was supposedly 'risk-free' and easy money. Of course, it was just another gateway for me. It wasn't enough and I got greedy, so next thing you know I'm putting the back bet
on, but ignoring the lay and thus gambling again, even if it was attached to some free bet or bonus. My bookie and exchange balances swung up and down wildly and whenever I was on an upswing it was never enough and I would start betting increasingly large amounts on random events anytime of the day or night, mostly via the exchanges. Some won, some lost. But over a period of time there's only one result.
I can't deny that I love gambling, even though it's been financially disastrous and ultimately it's a complete waste of time and energy. I've visited the racecourses more than ever over the last couple of years, but to be honest it's only fun if I get a win in the first one or two races. Otherwise, it's a dreary place. It's nice watching the horses and reading about the stories, but without the gambling would I really be interested? Who follows horse racing without gambling? Not many I would surmise. Whn people say they love the horses, it's really the gambling isn't it?
I almost always bet on my own. It's such a solitary habit, which means in all honesty I've neglected friends and family at times.
I have a lovely daughter who is almost 2 years old and she is perhaps the main reason why I'm desperate to start getting this addiction under control. As she gets older she will start to understand why I'm constantly checking my phone and I don't want her to grow up with a gambling addicted father. I didn't, thank goodness, so why should she?
My recent relapses are basically down to matched betting whereby I convince myself that I can strictly control my betting and keep it very low risk. This is a pipe dream. It just feeds my addiction and before long I slip back into my bad old ways. I have a terrible habit of chasing my losses which obviously leads to only one result.
The biggest problem I have is that it's never enough. What is a big enough win to make me stop gambling forever? There isn't one. That is ultimately the reason why gambling leads to such financial problems. When you win it encourages you to carry on as it's the easiest money in the world. When you lose you just have to recover that money that is 'owed' to you.
I have debt, it's not strictly related to gambling although it could probably have been cleared down by now without the betting. Fortunately I have a small balance left in my account and payday is tomorrow so I'll be able to pay the bills and keep my head above water, just. If I go in again it could start to get very traumatic and I don't want to go there. I'm right at the brink staring down into the abyss. I need to pull back now before I lose it completely.
I'm going to go gambling cold turkey from this evening and see how I get on. Unfortunately during the holiday season it's even harder to hold back the urges with all the sport and racing that's on everywhere.
However, what purpose does gambling serve? I can't treat it as a bit of fun and I constantly fool myself into thinking it's easy money. I shudder to think how much my total losses have been over the last 30 years. It's frightening to think of the amount of time I've spent on the activity as well, mostly being out of control with no restraint.
I'm not going to lie, I will miss gambling. It's going to be very difficult to let it go. I need to occupy myself with other activities and perhaps resurrect my interests in reading, computer gaming, more socialising and exercise. These all fall by the wayside when I'm on one of my epic gambling 'benders'.
How do I never gamble again? I do get it, that it only takes one bet to trigger the addiction, so even one bet is too many. But to never bet again? That sounds incredibly daunting. My concern is that if I manage to control myself for a few months and build up some savings, then the temptation will be too much again and I will fall into the same old trap.
I need to think more about the impact this will have long term, particularly on my daughter as she will at some point realise I am a gambler if I carry on and I don't want her to have that worry.
That will be my motivation. It's the best I can do for now. By year-end I hope to be 11 days gambling free. That's a start isn't it? Imagine going the whole of 2019 without a bet. That would be some achievement. I'm going to try my best and any advice gratefully received.
​hi, yes its very daunting at first, and if you don't get the blocks in place its nearly impossible if you've allways gambled like me. I at first made up excuses on here three years ago as to why I couldn't put the neccessary blocks in place but now three years down the line ive only managed one hundred days gambling free. Luckily gamstop has been introduced to stop online gambling, sense program for uk casinos and self exclusion for local bookmakers do all those and it gives u a chance a long with coming on here and getting the support u need. When I started gamstop wasn't introduced so there was allways another website to find to gamble on if uve excluded from all the major ones. Good luck aadam
Thanks for your responses. I will look into the blocking options and a diary is probably a good idea on the road to recovery.
Hi Bwim
Well done on taking the first steps of your recovery it’s a long journey and I wish you all the best , I agree with putting blocks in place I have signed up to Gamstop which has completely solved my online issues ,I then self excluded at local bookmakers and my wife controls my money and gives me small amounts of money then I give her a receipt 99% of the time just for transparency,I have had counselling through gamcare and completed 4 sessions which were good , they provided me with a code to get Gamblock installed on my phone , I have to say that this has also been really good for me,I’m with BT for WiFi and have also put parental controls on and blocked gambling sites as a backup , I am about to start counselling tomorrow with someone else through my work.A podcast on Spotify has also taken up a bit of my time and I have found this pretty decent its called the after gambling podcast, I have also been reading the book by Allen Carr’the easy way to stop gambling’ I am only 37 days gambling free after several relapses but like yourself I have a 2 year old and I am desperate to lose the addiction , financially I feel I am in a better place after contacting stepchange and they were able to offer advice , sorry for the long list I just wanted to give you some idea of what I had done to help on my journey so far, I have been to GA in the past and I’d probably advise this aswell ,I think once I get a few more one on one sessions out the way I’ll pluck up the courage to get along, I don’t think I could stop watching sport and to be honest watching sport would never push me towards betting it was the adverts that would trigger it occasionally ,I suppose everyone is different . All the best with your recovery
Hi Dal83
Thanks for your insight. I have read Alan Carr but it failed to stop me. I will re-read, however. I will also check out the podcast. I’m glad to hear you’re 37 days gf that’s a very good start. I’m now 16 hours gf so there’s progress!
This morning is was nice to wake up not having to check any overnight bet results as this meant mostly starting my day on a big low when they haven’t come in.
On the train into work I feel no desire to check out possible bets for the day and feel calm and relaxed. I hope I can keep this up and put much more focus into the things that matter in life.
This may sound odd, but I’m not really sure why I gamble. I think it’s just the idea of making easy money but I’ve proven to myself dozens of times that it only ever ends up costing me. I need to think it through more.
I've relapsed already. Another day of mad betting; up then up again then down then down even more until it's all gone.
A win is never enough so ultimately you can only lose.
Started again and I've now completed 24 hours gambling free. I want to be able to look back on this post in a year's time and know this was the moment of change.
Hi Bwim, it’s tough especially early on but well done for getting back in the mindset of quitting ,have you had chance to put any blocks in place yet ? Gamstop is a massive one which will hopefully prevent you gambling if online gambling is your thing ,all the best
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
