Hi All
So I'm finally at the point where I have to admit I have a real problem.
Denial has cost my 10-12 comfortable years and without wanting to try find the exact figure, upwards of £50k wouldn't surprise me in the least. Historically, I had always gambled within my means, which was a way of me justifying to myself that it wasn't a problem. Through my twenties, I was a single guy thinking I was living the life, so no one to worry about but myself.
I have since settled down, married, bought a house, started a family, got a dog, set up for life! Or so I thought!
Through out my relationship, we always had things to plan and save for, wedding house etc. Once these things were done, I found that some disposable income had returned and gambling was waiting to help me take care of it. It started off so often as it does with small stakes on football, usually games that I was watching for 'a bit of interest'. The win markets became boring and I turned to betting on bloody corners! I couldn't get enough!
Things have escalated from there, I couldn't switch off! At all points of the day, there was a game on, feel like mastermind that I know who were champions of Peru in 2015, who the top scorer in the U.A.E was, it is ridiculous.
I am a horrible liar but it became very easy to mask my problem by gambling on my phone. Even when I hit a big win, or lose on an injury time goal, I would sit there with no emotion.
This kills me to be here, knowing what I have done and what it's going to do to my family when I do admit it, but I have to start somewhere and hopefully this will be the start of turning my life around.
Cheers
Hi Mac
This is the place to be to help abstain and beat gambling. The site alone fills a void in your spare time reading people's stories, wise words and insights.
I'm with you on the no emotion thing. A few months back I would quite often just sit on the sofa with my mum sat opposite me and play live roullete winning and losing not reacting. What's the point of that!
Put the blocks in place as I'm sure you know. And what I have read on here it really helps to tell loved ones and partners etc. I've told my mum, mate and GF. Still can't bring myself to tell my dad tho. It's a start at least.
Take each day as it comes and do whatever you can to forget losses and quit any chasing. That's the hard part in my little experience at this. I've paid a small price but the devil in me wants me to go back and 'win'....yeah right! Look for new interests and make life changes if needed.
Wish you well.
R
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