First time ever speaking of my gambling

My comment probably won't help you too much, but let's say that I relate to your feelings.
I never gambled in my entire life until last year, when couple of friends told me to try.

I was playing online roulette, sic bo and monopoly, which for the last 12 months costed me 5k euro.
Also I Was playing till couple days ago, when I suddenly lost and I estimated my looses as 5k.

Life is this you either win or lose that's true in any aspect, but gambling is the worst thing ever added into our society. 500k is really big amount of money and for me 5k as well since I earn them within a year, so I do know how you feel exactly. I'd recommend start you new book of your life and try something new. 
We can always recover from everything, just whenever we spend our money like nothing we should accept the consequences of it. Couple months ago my losses were like 4k and I was about to return that money which result in 5k loss. Even was thinking somepeople to donate me and help me step on my feet, but I know that it's impossible and nobody will tip somebody who spent his money like nothing.

Hi synapsegam. Really, really good you have made the first step by coming on here and baring your soul. Try and think that you are at the start of a journey, you need help to go along on that journey. As a forum we give help and advice as most of us are recovering compulsive gamblers, Gamcare are very good with help ,advice and can refer you for counselling etc. You mention using drugs as well do you feel this is an addiction as well as gambling? A lot of people have more than one problem so do not feel that you can't admit all areas of your life that are spiralling. You say you have nothing but you do have HOPE it you didn't you wouldn't be asking for help. Read as much as you can on here stories are all different but you will see common threads amongst most. I had a 20 year history with gambling for the most part controlled but then over course of about 5 years spiralling last 2 years destructive big loses debt, lies , deceit, spent our savings behind my husband's back, maxed credit cards. 5th June my life restarted when my husband found out our savings had gone. Fast forward 3months I'm still gamble free and looking to the future once again now I'm 54years old and I will give every bit of myself to stay gamble free I do not intend to give another £ another second to gambling. There is lots of help available willpower alone will not do it . Try and find someone you can trust to talk to if there really is no one talk to Gamcare find your local GA meeting GA also run zoom meetings. Take a step forward one hour at a time, half a day at a time , a day at a time . You're so young reclaim your life. Best wishes to you hope you post again tell us how you're doing

Thank you for your replies guys good to read yes I am going to take action . I haven't gambled today im so tempted to do so i don't really have money but I can get some . 

I just feel messed up going to take it step by step 

 Hi Synapsegam

Welcome to the GamCare Forum and well done for taking the step and posting here. I am sure you will receive some great support from other members. 

It sounds as though you have had some tough times recently and that financially things are difficult for you right now. There is help out there for you and I want you to know you are not alone in this.

Along side the support you can get here on the forum, you might like to speak to one of our advisers. They are available 24/7 on the Helpline - 0808 8020 133 or through Livechat. They can offer practical advice and support through this including a referral for free one to one treatment if this was something you were interested in.

I also wanted to mention a couple of organisations that might be able to advise you financially. Stepchange and the National Debtline would both be able to do this. 

For now,

Keep posting and take care.

Rebecca, 

Forum Admin 

50k to 15k grand in debt in 6 months, this really shows what gambling can do. Wishing you all the best.

Can I ask what games you were playing to go from 50k to 15k in debt?

Jon the games are not important forget about them and start your gamble free journey

I did it again I dont know what sort of magic is this . 

I can Be so serious and promise my self I will never do it again , and tell my self how bad it is and in that moment I genuine think I will never gamble again but then less than a day later I be back . This has happened about hundred times. 

I just gambled lost about £200 ( the only money I had ) 

thanks for replies guys I'm going to try quit again ! 

What games did I play ? Like reply said don't matter what games I played you can lose money on any game if you stake high enough . But to answer the question I used to onlu play roulette literally just sat roulette for hours and hours spending hundreds and thousands . These past 6 months (where my gambling has become a major problem) I disxocered the slots games well not discovered but started to play them . And now that's all I do is play the same

games for hours on hours . Shocking what I've become

.