Gambled after one year in the clear

Day 150

So I guess you can call this a milestone if you were a cricketer . For an ex gambler it’s just another day clocked up , no more no less but I thought it poigniant to give an update . Bridging loan until the remortgage finally came through . Took 10 weeks but will free up around £1000 a month of my wages . Means that total pressure is off and that ok I lose a bit of equity but out quality of life will improve . No gambling thoughts had quite a few emails with the new EU laws on personal details but didn’t bother me . Delete and repeat . On the right path of finally sorting myself out for good . Argos haven’t updated my credit file yet since being forced by the FOS to do it . Won’t make any difference to me now until December so have time . Felt great to press cancel overdraft on halifax that we’re charging me over £7 a day fees . Rack that up and it’s a complete scam . So still going the gym , playing pool and snooker and generally getting on with things . Must confess haven’t logged into here as obsessively as before but still am aware of me and my previous life .

Cracking updates there my friend & really proof that there is life after gambling! Ironic isn’t it that the financial woes that hit us daily whilst we were in action, attempting to become zillionaires can be dealt with when we’re not topping them up!

My GamCare activity has also been reduced of late as I learn how to live a life with my addiction beaten into submission, but as you say, in a much more eloquent way, no point letting complacency jump up & bite us on the r*e!

Keep enjoying yourself - ODAAT

Congratulations Bryan. 150 days gamble free and you are in a very positive state of mind.

I am taking a spell off from the diaries so this is my last post for a while.

Wishing you success and every happiness ...stephen

Day 158

Must admit I haven’t been on this site much . Been away in Scotland on business and that was normally a time when I persuaded my colleague and friend to gamble with me . He knows my story and if I pushed him he would have complied but I didn’t want to gamble at all. Got to yet another pay day and spent some money on myself . New clothes and watch , also treated the kids on various things and felt good . Biggest thing I have done is booked next summers holiday to the Caribbean . Instead of being driven by sales at work to get funds to gamble I have a new target and that’s paying lumps off the holiday balance . My plan is to get it paid by xmas and that’s what’s going to happen . It’s grest to have a goal and this kind of holiday was something I could never do if I was still in action. Already managed to pay for two holidays this year albeit not as expensive as next years but it is all progress . It’s strange because I still feel buyers remorse. So yes financially we are good . Mentally well I’m not going to lie . I had time money and opportunity (well almost ) last week when the wife was at work. Some advert came on the tv about gambling and for a few seconds I did think about online gambling . Not in the s ense of doing it and depositing but the actual game play and hitting a feature . Then my practical mind kicked in and know that with Gamstop I couldn’t even do it if I wanted to .So please let this be a warning to anyone that you really don’t know when it can creep up on you . I guess old habits are hard to die BUT with blocks in place you can definitely keep on top of it . So yes , that’s me on the update . No gambling but a warning that even though everything is moving up we all can have some self destruct button built into us and it’s our choice if we decide to press it . I didnt and will still try every day to keep putting more distance away from it

Hi Bryan

As you know, I don't post often here but I check the forum frequently. I'm pleased to see you are still gamble free and living a normal life. Booking that holiday has given you something to strive for. Since I joined the site 6 months ago, my life has also improved dramatically, still gamble free and in a much better place.

I've also noticed so many posters have either relapsed or disappeaered altogether in the last 6 months. It seems that we are doing well so far. It also proves how difficult this problem is to beat. I've not had counselling or ga meetings as advised, but I hit rock bottom which meant I never wanted to go back there and lose everything. My sanity and family, finally became more important than roulette machines.

All the best to you and everyone here still fighting this cruel addiction.

Day 166

Just returned from a work trip to Holland . Went with my normal colleagues . They asked if they minded if they gambled at the airport . I said it’s not a problem , I went for a walk and they played on the machines . It didn’t bother me and my good friend pointed out that I never even flinched . You see these things will happen and you will be tested sometimes . I had an hour to myself whilst in Holland and normally would go to a certain bar and play a machine . This time I changed my routine and didn’t go into the bar . Progress it certainly is . Last thing on the subject is I have been working for the company for 15 years and been to holland with work maybe 30 times . This was the first time I had been and had money and access to money . I went to duty free without a problem , purchased a couple of things and came back happy . So to conclude , no gambling thoughts since the last update . The opportunity was there but I wouldn’t have done anything and I have changed my “habit” of going to places to gamble . Yes I’m quite pleased with myself right now

Day 183

The reason I am posting today is that it’s 6 calendar months since I decided to change my life

I kind of had an epiphany moment where I just couldn’t carry on how I was living . I haven’t had any kind of wobbles or regrets since . It can be done if you want to stop. I have taken advice on here and hope I have also given out support too because that’s what this is all about . I’m exposed still to gambling situations , so my mental blocks then work over my physical ones and I’m fine with that . I play pool for a team always in pubs with slots so found a way in my head to associate this with pain and bad things and I have been fine . Everything online is closed and excluded . So yes , all good and long may it continue

6 months, wow thats gone quick. I feel the same about so much you say and have done to stop gambling. Stopping and accepting the recovery process really is life changing. Great job, so good to read.

All the best mate.

Congratulations friend, you have done really well to reach half a year gamble free. Courage, common sense and tenacity has helped bring you to this milestone.

I really admire and respect people like yourself who keep their resolve and stick to their word. I salute you Bryan, you have stayed strong and to me you are a gamcare warrior who has shown that life doesn't have to revolve around gambling.

Wishing you every success as you carry on journey...stephen

Great job Bryan, that means it is 6 months for me on 28/6/18. I joined a few days after you. That is why I followed your diary and RSmith 'out in the open'. Life has improved so much in that period of time. Not sure what has happened to RSmith, hope all is ok there. Keep going and keep posting.

Hi Bryan great to see you smashing it on day 184! That moment when you realise you can't carry on gambling is a point of the worst/the best. Knowing I can never gamble again fills me with nothing but reassurance and joy. Take care S 🙂

Day 200

Another milestone I guess . Absolutely nothing negative to report . World Cup almost over managed to watch most of the games and when I went out to a pub to watch it didn’t have to worry about a budget . Mortgage advisor says that come December I can move to a bigger house now my Experian has gone to excellent from very poor in the last 200 days . Bank statements are clean so moving in the right direction . A couple of flashes in my head about online gambling but other than that I’ve seen the benefits of stopping and I’m never going back . Had a World Cup sweepstake at work and pledged at the start if I won anything it was going to a girl at works charity as she is doing a mud run for cancer research. Already had donated but this would have been extra . I had England by the way and Brazil so no payout was necessary! Home life good , still sleeping properly and not waking up with stress . Not been on the forum much as there is not much more new advice I can offer anyone or indeed take from it . I felt myself repeating again and again my advice which could come across as boring . I will still keep checking in now and again but so far so good

Nice one Bryan, keeping enjoying that GF life mate.

All the best.

Belated Co on 200 days Bryan, your sound advice and realistic words go a long way. I do wobble(but don't act on my thoughts) sometimes and look for guidance and reassurance on the forum. Take care and enjoy your GF journey S 🙂

Today’s a good day . 200+ days that’s decent I can’t do anymore than I have so far since I stopped . Looking at moving house again early next year but my credit score has been hammered. My score on Experian was in the 600’s and poor . Today , finally it’s at 999 maximum . I have been obsessed the last few months to get everything better and believe it or not it takes hard work to get there . Corrections , disputes (some poor credit lenders report your score wrong ) and stress . Just wanted to share that . So anyone out there who has been doing the same and damaging your credit file , this has taken 6 months to get to perfect . We couldn’t be trusted with credit before and I know I can now . Wife is completely aware of everything even though I have access to cards (always have ). You do what works for you . She just admitted tonight she almost left me before (thanks Marta !) but I guess fate and a willingness to change has helped me . I am going on holiday on Friday with spending money I actually have saved , not living on credit cards or cash advances or dodgy loans . Or worse than that a dodgy casino where you won online but are now waiting for their security to pass the documents before being paid . I remember clearly those horrible times where I had lost £1000 that was taken instantly and waited 72 hours in pending then the 5 working days just to get a proportion back . That’s crazy when you stop and think about it