Hi, im Ed, 48 and been a compulsive gambler for 30 years. I've been in and out of debt, mostly in, currently 20 grand. I thought I'd beaten the gambling demons a few years ago but slowly the demons have clawed their way back in.
I'm a regular kind of bloke, normal job, wife, 3 lads aged between 11 and 21. Earn 30 thousand a year.Â
I do wonder why, when I have so much good in my life, I feel I need to gamble.Â
I have gambled since childhood, grown up in a seaside town so amusements. The Internet was a killer for me, as soon as I had a computer I put my 1st bet on, never before had I put £5 on a horse, it was loads of money to me back then.
I managed to get myself into 50 k worth of debt when I was 30, took 10 years to pay back. Now I find myself back to the same.kind of position.Â
I don't get an urge to gamble, not like that, I don't think. I just look and pick my winners (losers), be it football or racing. I hate the fobt, can quite easily blow 3 figures on my way out of the shop.
I've been on gamstop for 2 years and haven't gambled online for that period. I now just go in the bookies and either lose on the fobt or put ridiculous amounts on a horse or football through a machine rather than hand over money to an actual person. That way there's no embarrassment.Â
I've looked at this forum over and over, I hope I can manage this again. Strange, I have never been this sick with myself before.
Just struggling to see the end, can I actually get myself through it. I can and will, I guess I just needed to spill out my thoughts.
Cheers,
Ed.
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Hey Ed, having also grown up in a seaside town i totally get where your coming from trouble is not everyone gambles and its took me a long time to realise that , or at least not as often as a gambler does, hence why we have problems and others dont but they may have another addiction, im new to this but one thing ive quickly learnt is i dont miss it so was i ever really getting enjoyment from it the answer is no, its brought nothing but misery, anxiety , debt and just feelings of emptiness, take it one step/day at a time, find something you enjoy and be kind to yourself this is a journey and getting to the desired destination will take time.Â
Hi Ed,
The thing is and I have given this a lot of thought and spoke to a lot of people who have studied addiction that any one with this has to accept that there brain has been altered due to the pattern of behaviour over a long period of time,yes at times we are powerless to prevent relapsing and not thinking of the consequences,for me this is an invisible addiction but it will rob your soul and destroy relationships to the people you are supposed to love,it makes you dishonest,I question what the hell am I chasing? I chase the win,and then try again,try again and then you are back to zero,I have self excluded from betting shops ,please do the same,I am benefiting mentally and physically by walking six mile a day, it is a great help,you have to get to that point of I need and want to stop, after my recent relapse my wife has enough and has served divorce papers,that has hurt me like I’ve never been hurt before, losing everything including my lovely kids has put that big red stop button firmly planted in my head, I suggest handing over all debit credit cards to a trusted person,have no access to free money or credit cards,try and change areas of your life that can change the pattern of things we do,understand triggers mine are emotional and I look for an escape,I can never ever do that ever again,I have to be on this and not get lazy because that’s what it does to you makes you lazy,I wish you all the very best in trying to beat this dangerous  addiction!
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Hi
You could try signing up to MOSES. They will exclude you from the bookies for 12 months. No embarrassment of asking for a form in the bookies itself. You select the bookies you want to be excluded from.Â
It has helped me (along with Gamstop like you have already done).Â
Good luck.Â
Hi Ed
Tough game we get our self into.
It's my money!
Different this time!
I'll pay the Elec bill next week!
NEVER AGAIN!
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The list goes on and on.
This the longest true gamble free time, I've ever done.
A full day can now go by without thinking of gambling, Its a miracle.
But as eggs are eggs it pops it to your little grey cells, an a new plan hatch's, then you have to do anything to distract your next move, walk in local park.
I have to have a plan ready.
I'm enrolled in GAMSTOP self excluded from all the bookies i can think off , Casinos barred.
But if we want to bet while find a ,sneaky,Lie,Underhand way,where pro's at them all.
I don't know whats different this time, but you can bet I'm on my guard.
Maybe I'm Just Sick off It.
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Hope tomorrow is a good day.
One Day
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@bags1961 Hi, I understand what you are saying,a big well done for not gambling,I’m just starting my recovery again after a recent relapse,I can’t go back ever again and will not go back only way is forward a life without it lingering is paramount to me and my family, I agree being on your guard and having a plan is key to abstaining,changing your life style keeping measures in place for ever is vital,retraining your brain as I believe all compulsive gamblers have damaged themselves with the convulsion over a period of time,I wish you well and to be gamble free!
steve
Hi ed I've bin gambling for 40 yrs small bets generally i started at 16 id be happy to win 20 on a five pound bet got myself in trouble 10 yrs ago thought I'd ever put 1000 on black jack on line told my wife had so much guilt really couldn't live without telling my family lost maybe 50000 got myself straight took a long time then recently got a 15000 insurance policy pay out lost 11000 in one evening i say i need help its like any easy money i have to gamble it
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