Hello all - Angel 😇 vs Devil 😈
I’m female 42 and been gambling from a young age of let’s call it 9years old, reason I go back that far is that the 2p fruit machines and the 1p arcade’s you know the ones with the step that you drop a coin into and try to knock them all off the step. This was my introduction to gambling. Then my father used to play fruit machines so the lights reeled me in whereas my brother was not even interested in watching I liked to see the lights, press the buttons and collect the money for dad when he won.
Little did I know that I would end up who I am today with an addiction I just can’t shake off.
All my life from youngster through adulthood I have been gambling and getting in debt, other people helping me out, getting in debt again it’s just goes on and on and on.
The invisible disease, I’m hypnotised by the lights and the dopamine hit is my drug.
I crave it, I need it, I don’t actually need the money, I need the excitement of the win.
The wins are so rare so you chase for them, if you don’t get it you chase harder until you have nothing to chase with then you have to get money from somewhere to chase. I’m not trying to win my money back I just need the dopamine hit.
There is nothing else I enjoy, nothing else gives me the hit like a win.
so how do you give up gambling when your body needs that hit and nothing else gives you that? Devil always wins….
All comments welcome.
Thank you for reading
All the best
CGG
Welcome your in the right place i am still early in my recovery i am on day 382 still have lots of things to learn, gambling is highly addictive its one of the things that can kill boredom, the way i have managed to come this far is through blocks etc, however within the short period of time i have understood i needed to find other things which could improve my life and just simply trying new things out the urgues will settle for most people within few months and things do get easier, in your case its the thrill and the excitement, do u have a passion for anything hobbies interests each recovery is different some things might work for one person not another, you need to sit down and ask yourself what u want from life, blocks etc can help to make it difficult however i personally believe its the changes you make is the key to moving forward addressing any underlying health conditions example for some it may be past trauma, mental health or it simply could be boredom
Your story is pretty much the same as mine. I started on the penny fall machines with my grandad as a kid then moved to fruit machines. There is a way out. I’m nearly 4 months gamble free. I hit rock bottom and had to take a good look at my life. Did I want to go on like that forever? Skint as soon as I got paid, never able to do things with others, constant fear and regret. I decided that it was over. No matter the cost. Long story short, if you take the advice offered in this forum, put blocks in place, open up to someone, have a plan, it can be done. My gambling was never about money. It was about the rush. You have to change that way of thinking. It’s weird, but now I get a buzz from having money, being able to buy things, feeling like a normal human.
Take a read through everything on here, visit daily, write a diary, you’ll be amazed how quick you can change your mindset.
Good luck on your journey. Keep us all posted.
Stay strong 💪
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