Happy in life... Love what I've got. Dark days are over.

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(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

Age 35 dad to a one month old girl and treat my partners six year old as my own. Gambled for 20 years on and off for periods of over a year without gambling. Lost lost of money in the past and been bailed out by parents.

Not in any debt now, relapsed mid Dec 2018 playing machines in bookies. Won six times in a row and told partner what I'd done as was concerned I'd lose her and my family.

Happy with everything I've got now and not going to lose it. Never been as happy in my life and before always knew I'd gamble again at some point. This feeling I have now is that I won't ever do it again, a feeling I've never had before.

Understand its a problem I'll always have to live with regardless if I go years without gambling. Problem was online casino, signed up for gamstop and then found myself in bookies on roulette machines as couldn't get online. Now I've self excluded to as many as I can locally.

Done over a week bet free and feel good re the whole situation. Partner has supported me and has been great, just feel really bad the effect what I've done has had on her. Not been together long but she's known me and my problem before we were together for three years. It really hurts me to see that I've spoilt trust with her so early in a relationship. Need to build it back up. Killing me seeing her like this. It's very hard because only me knows that I've got enough in my life to be happy and just saying it to her is just words and don't know how I can prove it other than time. Don't want her sat stewing over stuff and wondering if I'm gambling when I'm not and as I said only me knows id I am.

I'm really excited for my gamble free future, I know it will be hard but I'm so determined to do this like I've never done before.

8 days and counting

Peter

 
Posted : 31st December 2018 9:01 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Well done, mate. Its so d**n hard.

 
Posted : 31st December 2018 10:47 pm
Jappy
(@jappy)
Posts: 288
 

Well done peter keep that feeling as long as you can and treasure you’re days gf that number can go up every day! Keep posting!

 
Posted : 1st January 2019 9:52 am
Si_mon
(@si_mon)
Posts: 136
 

Well done! Happy 2019.

 
Posted : 2nd January 2019 2:54 pm
mccawpa
(@mccawpa)
Posts: 148
 

Wawaw1867 wrote: Happy with everything I've got now and not going to lose it. Never been as happy in my life and before always knew I'd gamble again at some point. This feeling I have now is that I won't ever do it again, a feeling I've never had before.

Had similar feelings but I relapsed, it can happen to anyone. Please keep your guard up. Good luck and glad you're in a good place now 🙂

 
Posted : 2nd January 2019 5:08 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Yes thank you for the reminder. I know its not going to be easy and I've got to respect that I'll always have a gambling addiction inside me.

11 days gamble free

Feeling good... Relishing finishing work and going home to my family and not thinking ill have thirty mins in the bookies on the way home. Self excluded from the one I visited and others on route.

Dont look back you aren't facing that way

 
Posted : 3rd January 2019 6:55 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Hey wawaw.
Just read your thread. Well done on taking control back of your life. Focus on your family and stay positive. Stay strong my friend.

 
Posted : 3rd January 2019 7:19 am
(@Anonymous)
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Topic starter
 

Thanks marcella. 15 days done i love to see my daily count gamble free increase everytime I come on here..

Makes me sad reading all the new threads of people with problems. One think I will say is as low as you can become as a gambler even after just 15 days free I feel better than when I was gambling. Please bare this in mind and set short term goals as well as long, break it down. Set rewards too for reaching certain milestones eg 50/100 days.

 
Posted : 7th January 2019 6:16 am
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

37 days done gamble free and feel so much better about myself already. Love ticking days off the calender and not telling lies

 
Posted : 29th January 2019 12:26 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
 

Wow just read your thread and found so much in common with yours. Only i've relapsed several times now and now back to being 1 day gamble free yesterday. I've been off 9 months twice and 6 months too but have found myself relapsing still even after putting new and different barriers in place. I too have been lying and scheming to my partner iv'e been with for a year now and she treats my daughter like her own and been so nice too see. I like yourself know how good a life i have when not gambling but just need to accept that gambling has beat me and that i won't beat it that's the saying i've heard a few times and is so true too. Well done though bud and long may it all continue happy for you 🙂

 
Posted : 30th January 2019 6:54 pm
(@Anonymous)
Posts: 0
Topic starter
 

Thanks stollers, it's nice knowing someone can relate to how I feel. Looks to me like we both have good will power to an extent to stop but then let our guard up and relapse. I've done 44 days now and not found it hard in the slightest. Think it's when it's 244 that I've got to really tread carful. I wish you all the best, you can do it. Like you said think how happy you are when not gambling

 
Posted : 5th February 2019 8:10 am

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